Innocent Trip
by JasonHRAC
Summary: Post-Third Impact. 29 year old Shinji Ikari didn't expect to see Asuka again. Then again, he didn't expect the memories and feelings to come back either. It was all supposed to be a simple vacation to Germany, but now everything had changed. With these resurfacing memories and emotions, will Shinji finally tell Asuka what he's always wanted to say?
1. Resolution

Innocent Trip  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor do I claim to. Mr. Anno does. I'm…just a young fanfiction writer.  
A/N: This is the kind of story that I merely wrote because I really wanted to , but I didn't think about what would happen in the later chapters (for the most part). Instead of making it all up as I go along, I'm going to try to make a coherent plot out of this, though it may take some time to think out and write down. N-Not because I'm lazy or anything, though…**

* * *

Shinji Ikari walked out the door, not a care in the world.

His day had started out normally enough. Grumbling about having to get up so early in the morning, especially _this _morning, considering he had to wake up at 5 in the morning, lumbering into the bathroom for a shower, debating on whether or not he should shave (having a tendency to shave anyway regardless of what little facial hair he had), making some coffee, and cooking breakfast were all part of his daily routine. And perhaps that was just how he liked it. After all, having a "normal" life was something that he came to appreciate. After Third Impact, it seemed like everything changed, and yet…everything remained the same, somehow.

But Shinji wasn't going to think about that. He had moved on a long time ago. Now he was a grown man. As he walked out of his apartment, dressed in a plain white t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a black leather jacket, and holding a baggage consisting of clothes and a laptop, he glanced at his watch, before proceeding to dash down the stairs and head straight for his car. Shinji wasn't exactly late, but he always wanted to make sure that he'd at least be early. Just in case there might be traffic or something.

As he entered his car, he felt a small vibration in his pocket. As Shinji reached into his pocket and took out his phone, he saw that he had received a text from his co-worker. It said "Have fun in Germany, Shinji! Kelly, Michelle, and I all hope you enjoy yourself there!" and attached was a picture of a baby sleeping.

The Japanese man couldn't help but smile a bit. His co-worker, a bright and cheery young man named Keiji, had just had his first child, Michelle, a few weeks ago with his wife. As Shinji put his phone back into his pocket and inserted a key into his car, he thought about Keiji, and how happy he was for him about how he already had his life all sorted out. He was 27, married, and already had a child.

Funny…Shinji was older by two years and he didn't even have a steady girlfriend. He had been single for about three or four years. Whatever. Shinji found that his work was too important for stuff like that anyway.

_Ugh…who am I kidding? I have plenty of time for girlfriends. It's not like I'm one of those important bankers or something. I'm just a chef._

Despite what Shinji believed, it didn't stop his other co-workers from setting him up to dates. Only a two of them were successful, and the girls that had caught Shinji's interest were the ones who ended up dating him. But in the end, the fact remained that Shinji was single. Bah! Not like he _needed _a girlfriend anyway. After all, one of the main perks of being single was the fact that he didn't have to spend an extensive amount of money for anyone else, and he had all of his spare time to himself.

Hmm. Still, Shinji couldn't deny that he regretted one thing; leaving his last girlfriend on sour terms. Then again, what's done is done. But still…he could have apologized for being so…no, he wasn't going to apologize! This was entirely _her _fault, of course!

_Oh, but was it? I mean, I admit that I was a bit—_

_Nope! It was entirely her fault! She should've known that a bad attitude like that repulsed men!_

Sighing loudly to himself, Shinji decided to block those negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. That's what his old therapist had told him to do when he was younger, and so he did do it. Not that his therapist was actually much help anyway, but still…

Shinji began thinking of his vacation to Germany as he drove into the streets of the new Tokyo-3. Well, actually, it's been around for 15 years, but people decided to call it "new" since it was the rebuilt Tokyo-3 after Third Impact.

No, no, Shinji. No thoughts of Third Impact. Thoughts of Germany. Thoughts of his much needed vacation to Germany.

A few weeks earlier, the workers were discussing travel and places they'd like to travel to. It was just about closing time, so no customers were coming. It was convenient that the manager had decided to show up to work that day, seeing as how he often neglected his responsibilities. Anyway, it was convenient because the manager, Mr. Suzuki, was the one who recommended Germany. From what he said, it seemed to be a wondrous and beautiful place, where the people were friendly and the overall atmosphere was welcoming. According to the old man, Shinji would almost feel right at home there. Then again, Mr. Suzuki always had a tendency to over-exaggerate.

Still, the point got across that Germany was apparently a great place to be. And it seemed to look best in the snow. Then again, Mr. Suzuki was one of those "old geezers" who lived before Second Impact, and thus, knew what snow was actually like.

If it's worth noting, it was Winter right now. To be precise, the date was December 5th, 2030. Shinji didn't know why, but he felt that he had forgotten to do something important involving December 4th, and it somewhat bothered him all day, but that day had gone and passed, and nothing happened, so Shinji proceeded with his normal life as usual.

It still bothered him, though. Even now, he was thinking he had forgotten to do something on December 4th…

Hmm. Maybe it doesn't matter. Deciding to block out that negative emotion, Shinji began going over the German vocabulary he learned when he was younger. He didn't know why he was learning German at the time, but to Shinji, it just felt…right.

Almost like he was doing it for someone else.

* * *

Asuka Langley Sohryu walked out the door, not a care in the world.

Her day started out normally enough with a hot shower and an apple (Apparently, apples were more effective in waking one up than coffee), before putting on a black dress that a very old friend had given her. Hell, she knew from the get-go that the entire day was going to be normal, which was a shame. She disliked routine, and liked days where noteworthy things actually happened. But whatever. Asuka had her birthday party the day before, and now, today was going to be a normal day.

The German lady grunted to herself as she left her house. 29 years old now, huh? Hmph. That was almost 30. And Asuka found it sad that at almost thirty, she was still single. Then again, in her defense, she wasn't exactly looking. But perhaps now was a good time to start, though. After all, she had a legacy to pass down! Asuka Langley Sohryu's descendants would be blessed with her name and blood!

Asuka couldn't help but giggle a bit as she walked. She remembered back when she was younger. When she was full of pride and confidence. At least, that's what it seemed like at the time.

_Oh my god…am I really thinking of that again? _Asuka thought to herself in disgust, _And where's my car?! _She thought, before blinking. _Oh, that's right._

The reason she was walking to work was because of that stupid accident the other day! One thing lead to another while driving home from work one day, and before Asuka knew it, her sports car was being sent the shop for repairs. Asuka gave the other driver hell for ruining her nice car, the poor fellow driver being easily intimidated by Asuka's aggressive mien.

Hmph. One would think that by 2030, it wouldn't take very long _at all _to repair a car, but it didn't. Either Asuka had a poor choice of repairmen or the accident really did a number on her vehicle. Or maybe both. After all, a whopping _two days_ had passed, and still no word from the repairmen! And then, a certain thought crossed Asuka's mind.

_Oh my god. I swear, if they ran off with my car, I will hunt them down to the ends of the Earth! _She thought viciously as she continued walking. About two minutes had passed and she was already up for a quick rest. Maybe walking wasn't exactly her thing. Even so, her work was far enough as it was by car. God knows how long it is by walking. And Asuka couldn't afford a rest.

_...Not even if it's a really quick five minute rest? Ack! No, no! There's that meeting I'm having today! I can't afford to miss that!_

Mustering up strength to go forward, the German lady took a deep breath and walked a bit faster now. She had to admit that there was something…nice about walking along the streets of Germany. Something refreshing…assuming that was even the right word anyway. Asuka found it difficult to put it in words. Walking was quite a different experience from driving.

After all, in a car, the young woman had to focus on many things while driving. She had to be mindful of the other cars, the signals, the lights, everything. And on top of that, the few thoughts that were still in her mind after that were blocked out when she'd turn on the radio and almost be lost in the music. _Almost. _

It was like she was at rest when she walked.

Now, if only she didn't get tired easily! Maybe then she'd walk more often! Because really, it was nice. The wind blowing in the air, the feeling of being one with the crowd, and so forth. It was all relaxing. No wonder people often walked in their leisure time. Maybe soon she'll start walking more often too.

And not because she needed to lose a few pounds or so! Anyway, it seemed like a fair trade. Walk to work for thirty minutes, sit down in the meeting for about thirty minutes.

…Okay. Well, actually, the meeting might actually go on for an hour or two, but still.

* * *

The airport was busy. This was odd, considering it was about 5 in the morning. Then again, sometimes, people just needed to get to places. Since it was December, there were many people here coming to visit their relatives and/or friends in other parts of the world. Crazy to think that they'd leave as early as twenty days before Christmas, though! Still, Shinji himself wasn't leaving for Christmas. Just a simple brief vacation that'll last for a few days. Maybe about a week, and then he'll come back home.

As Shinji walked around to find his plane, he began thinking about why he was going on vacation. The young chef wasn't exactly stressed out or anything of the sort. And he didn't usually go on vacations, so it was odd that he was going to leave his comfortable home so readily and easily. It reminded him of a pretty old movie (possibly from 2004) where a man is suddenly compelled to ditch work for a day to meet someone he didn't know. Or at least, someone he _believed _he didn't know. Maybe he could apply that sort of situation here.

Ah, here's the plane. Shinji went through the usual routine there, while also continuing his…perplexing thoughts.

Anyway, maybe the Japanese man could somehow connect that to his odd feeling he had during the first three days of December, and then the stressful emotion of believing he had forgotten something important on the 4th. Now here Shinji was, December 5th, assuming that he was going to find something that had been waiting for him in Germany.

Maybe it had something to do with…her…?

No, no! That's preposterous! _She _had most likely moved on a long time ago, and so had Shinji. At least, that's what he believed, but if he was going to think about this any longer, he was probably going to let the memories swarm him again.

Ah, hell. Maybe he shouldn't go to Germany after all. It'll remind him of _her _now that she's on her mind.

But whatever. It's too late now. He may as well _try _to enjoy his vacation. There's no backing out now.

…Especially now that he was boarding the actual airplane.

Sighing as he reluctantly walked towards his seat, Shinji found that he was sitting next to an old lady who didn't look too friendly to other people, and behind him sat a woman and her baby. _Oh, no. Not a baby on a plane! _Shinji thought as he sat down miserably. As he sat down, he could feel the "darkness" from the old lady, and felt as if she'd harshly poke him with her cane if he so much had sneezed.

This was going to be a long flight.

* * *

Surprisingly, for a long and tiring day, Asuka found that nothing of importance happened as usual. This wouldn't have surprised her if it were any other day, but today, she had to work a few extra hours, she had a so-called important meeting (where nothing actually happened, mind you), and she had received a renewed ID card.

Last time she had checked, it was around 9:30 or so, so that would explain why there weren't many people out by now. Lucky bastards, they were probably all comfortable in their homes while Asuka had just gotten off work and was now walking back home.

Then again, to be fair, she _did _choose to just walk back home. Her co-worker, a young man who's name escaped Asuka at the moment because he was really boring, offered to drive her home, to which Asuka "politely" declined. The German woman saw that her co-worker was visibly disappointed, so as Asuka walked off, she briefly thought about what if he liked her? Meh, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to date him anyway if she had known this guy for about who knows how long and still didn't remember his name.

Actually, since walking home was going to take a while, she might as well occupy herself by trying to remember the poor chap's name. Now, was it…was it Erik? No, Erik had longer hair. Ooh! Wasn't he the one who helped renew her ID card? His name might be on the back or something!

Looking through her purse to search for her ID card, Asuka eventually managed to fish it out after a few moments of searching. _Aha! Found it! _She thought proudly, before—

Thud.

…And before she knew it, embarrassingly enough, Asuka found herself sitting on her ass. She also felt a small pain on her forehead. Rubbing said forehead, Asuka looked forward to see an Asian man about her age right in front of her in pretty much the same position; sitting on his ass and rubbing his forehead in pain.

Quickly growing angry at the man for being so clumsy and humiliating her like this. Heads will roll! Standing up, she crossed her arms with a deep frown, looking down at the man, who was still apparently composing his thoughts together. Assuming this Neanderthal was smart enough to even think, anyway!

"Watch where you're going next time!" She yelled at him. Asuka was frankly glad that at this late hour, no one else was really present to witness the troublesome event.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I…I wasn't paying attention to where I was going!" He cried out in response apologetically.

Sighing loudly in frustration, Asuka quickly realized that she had dropped her ID card somewhere. "Ah, crap! You idiot, you made me lose my ID card!" She exclaimed as she looked around looking for it.

Looking to see if the man had gotten ahold of the ID card, Asuka examined him further. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes, had some sort of wimpy expression on his face, and had a baggage that was labeled "S. Ikari."

…Wait a minute. No, it couldn't be! It couldn't be him, could it?! Well...well…dark brown hair? Check. Blue eyes? Check. Wimpy expression? Check. Why couldn't it be him?!

Asuka's eyes widened as she was processing all this. Shinji Ikari in Germany?!

* * *

Shinji, a bit annoyed that he seemed to be less important than an ID card to this stranger, didn't reply at first. As he came back to his senses, he decided he may as well help the strange woman find her ID card. After all, it _was _his fault this incident happened, seeing as how Shinji was more focused on finding his way through the city, looking at his city map he had acquired.

Right now, Shinji actually somewhat still wanted to be on that plane, with the crying baby behind him and the old grouchy lady next to him. Funny, just earlier, Shinji had thought that no stranger could be able to intimidate him more than the old lady with her menacing presence, but in a short span of time, Shinji found that the old lady had been beaten by this lady, who seemed like not only would she be willing and capable of killing him, his body would probably never be found.

Shinji found a card on the ground, easily assumed to be the ID card. As he picked it up, he glanced up at the woman. "I think I found it, Miss…" He began, but never finished his sentence as he flipped over the card and saw the name.

Asuka Langley Sohryu.

He stared at the name and the picture, before staring at the woman in front of her, who seemed to be just as surprised as him. Did she recognize him?

"A-Asuka?!"

* * *

**A/N: I just want to make a few things clear. This original draft was written around midnight when I'm too tired and anxious to do a proper check for spelling and grammar errors, so I apologize if there are any inconsistencies and/or errors. Second, since neither Shinji nor Asuka can speak English, you might say that the dialogue is translated from German to English or something. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are greatly appreciated, and will motivate me to continue this story.**


	2. Old Friends, Old Dreams

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 2: Old Friends, Old Dreams  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor do I claim to. Y'know, if they **_**did **_**decide to waste their time suing every person who wrote fanfiction, this site must be a goldmine or something, man.  
A/N: Welp, here it is, guys. I'm still sort of deciding how long this fic should be. It shouldn't be more than 10 chapters, especially when it turns out I lose my drive to write a story after 12 chapters or so.**

* * *

"Wow, I still can't believe it's you!" Shinji exclaimed, a warm smile on his lips.

When the little mishap from the streets had been cleared up, Asuka had quickly (and surprisingly, one might add) invited her dear old friend into her home, to which he agreed. After all, he _was _only walking just so he could find a hotel. But Asuka's house would also be able to do, it seemed.

"Well, believe it! It's me alright!" Asuka replied, a smile that seemed to be a strange mix of genuine warmth and arrogant confidence. Shinji thought it impossible to see those two combined, but…here it was.

Shinji could easily see in Asuka's eyes that she had changed over the past 15 years. She was still confident (or kept up the illusion of confidence), sure, but there was just something…different. Then again, to be far, fifteen long damned years had passed since then! Maybe he simply just didn't remember things clearly.

Breaking the awkward silence, Asuka spoke again. "You gonna say something, Baka-Shinji? Or are you just going to keep staring at my eyes like that?" She asked playfully.

Apparently, the desired outcome came true as Shinji quickly grew red and began stammering a bit, much to Asuka's amusement. It seemed that no matter what, time would never change Shinji's meek demeanor. It didn't exactly help that he was called "Baka-Shinji," a nickname he had not heard in a very long time. In a strange way, one might say that he missed being called that.

"Oh…umm, it's just…" Shinji began stuttering in an attempt to produce a coherent sentence, "I'm really glad to see you again," he said simply. One of the many things he wanted to say to Asuka.

The young man remembered all of the things he regretted doing to Asuka. All of the things he never had a chance to say to her. Oh, how he wished he could turn back time to undo all of the things he had said and done, and replace them with the things he knew he should have said and done. But one can't turn back time. No one can.

And now, here he was. He had been given a second chance. He was too scared of messing things up that he ended up in that awkward pause, staring at Asuka's beautiful blue eyes. How they gleamed and lit up Shinji's boring, dull, normal life.

"Hmph. I suppose it's nice to see an old face after so long," Asuka replied as proudly as ever. Still, in the back of Shinji's mind, he couldn't help but think that maybe the fiery girl he once knew so well was hiding something from him.

"So…" Shinji began. Oh, where should he say? What should he begin with, dammit? Complimenting her house? It _would _serve her ego, seeing as how she always loved praise, it seemed. It would probably also lead to a conversation about her possibly high-paying job; since this house alone gave everyone the message "The person who lives here obviously is rich and has a lot of class!"

…Well, the rich part would be right. The class part…maybe not so much. And then—

"So…what?" Asuka said, "You're a little distant there, Baka-Shinji."

"I was just…" He began, before clearing his throat, "Right, anyway…how are you?" He asked, deciding that that would be the first thing to ask, before proceeding to rephrase it as "How have you been all this time?"

"Well, as you can see, I've been doing just fine!" She said, again with her proud demeanor, "You might say life for me is going pretty smoothly," she continued, confidently smiling like she always would. That's one of the many things Shinji had missed. Her beautiful, pink lips curving into a perfect smile.

…Wait, beautiful lips? One step at a time, Shinji. She never exactly found out about how you really felt, did she?

While Asuka was rambling on and on about recent things, like the things that had been going on at her job (causing Shinji to realize he still didn't know about her occupation), he realized he wasn't actually paying attention. He was actually more focused on how Asuka looked. Her vibrant red hair had grown a bit longer over the years, believe it or not. She had grown as a person, physically and (hopefully) mentally. And that black dress she was wearing…it looked so familiar.

"Alright then," the German woman said, "Now that I'm done, I suppose it's my turn now to be asking a question."

"Shoot," Shinji simply replied, signaling his readiness to answer.

"What are you doing nowadays? As your job, I mean? There aren't many positions available for a baka like you, so I'm curious," she said.

Shinji couldn't help but laugh a bit at the comment about him being stupid. He remembered hating being called that when he was 14, and now here he was, laughing about it. He never thought he'd be laughing over his past, but here he was, it seemed. Shinji heard no real malice in Asuka's voice when he was called a baka, which was good. It was nice to know that even after all this time, she didn't hate him.

_Still…why doesn't she hate me?_

Ignoring the question he had asked himself, he decided to focus on Asuka's question. "Well, I'm a chef, actually. I'm not exactly smart like you, as you might be able to tell, but I found a real passion in cooking, so I just…became a chef."

"Really?" Asuka responded with a raised eyebrow, though quickly trying to hide her surprise, "Hmph. As expected. After all, the only other choices were Garbage Man and Underpaid Cello Player. Isn't that right?" She asked, teasing him.

"Yeah, I…wait, where'd the Garbage Man part come from?"

"From how dirty and degrading you are," she said with a smirk, teasing him even further. Despite the insults, Shinji found it nice that at least one person here was acting as if he were a true long lost friend. After all, from what he remembered, she really frankly didn't like him much. If, at all.

"Hey, that's not fair! Besides, is that some sort of crack at how you always thought I was just some sort of pervert like all the other guys?!"

"No, but now that you bring it up, it's more appropriate that you'd be a garbage man now that you're dirty in that way too!"

With a smile, Shinji looked at Asuka as he raised an eyebrow, and the look was mirrored back to him, as if they were both saying "Are we seriously talking like this?" There was a brief silence, before they both burst into laughter. It was a nice thing. Blissful and happy.

The sound of Asuka's laughter was like music to Shinji. More beautiful than the Easy Listening music he was encouraged to listen to by his old therapist, more divine than the classical music he always listened to as a child, more soothing than the lullabies that are sang to a baby.

As they stopped laughing, Shinji sighed, happier than he was in a long time. "Alright, now it's my turn again. Y'know, that black dress looks familiar on you. Who gave it to you?"

"You've got good eyes!" Asuka replied, "It's Misato's. I guess it's kinda hard to notice since she'd always wear that red jacket over this, huh? I don't know why she'd want to cover this, though. This _is _a really pretty dress. Y'know, despite what I say about her living conditions, she has good taste in clothes."

"…Huh. Oh, I remember now!" Shinji exclaimed, some of the memories coming back to him now. It was given to Asuka right before she returned home to Germany. From what Shinji remembered, Misato was a bit tipsy, if not outright drunk (She was probably drinking so much because she was too pained at the thought of her so-called surrogate daughter leaving her), and went ahead and decided to give Asuka her best dress. Come to think of it, it really did make sense that Misato would be drunk to give Asuka the dress, considering it was a _bit _too big for Asuka at the time.

One would imagine that Misato would have regretted this, but as Asuka was leaving, she didn't seem to show any signs of giving it to her. That is, assuming she even remembered. Ah, whatever. What she doesn't know doesn't hurt her.

"Yeah. It really is nice," Asuka said, "I wonder if Misato misses this old thing?" She asked curiously, apparently not remembering Misato's mental condition when she was offering the dress to her.

"Err…ah, don't worry. I'm sure she's fine with you having it," Shinji said with an uncomfortable smile as he scratched his head.

"Speaking of Misato, how's she been?" Asuka asked, and Shinji began to note her uncharacteristic concern for other people. Maybe she really was grown up…wait…

Shinji blinked. "Wait, what? How should I know how she's been?" He asked, perplexed.

"What, you mean you don't know how she's been?!" Asuka asked in great surprise, much to Shinji's confusion. Why would she be confused?

"No! Asuka, I haven't seen her in ages!"

"What?!" She exclaimed, now even more surprised, "I thought all this time you've been living with her!"

"Why would you think that?! People move on, y'know!"

"Yeah but I'd assume that you don't make much money at all as a chef! I mean, I spent all this time thinking you still lived with Misato!"

"That's insulting! I have a nice apartment, alright? I'm almost 30, you know!" The Japanese man said. Funny to think that he had called himself "almost 30" more often than "29 years old." Then again, either statement was true.

"And so am I! In fact, it was my birthday yesterday!"

_Oh. So that's what I was so worried about, _Shinji thought to himself, before shaking his head in an attempt to get himself back into the real world. "Wait, it was?!"

"Yes, it was! Don't tell me you forgot about it, Baka-Shinji!" Asuka said with a mean look. It was that kind of mean look that meant no true malice. One where you could even see the amusement in their eyes. But Shinji didn't really get the hint. Not at first, anyway.

"I—I haven't seen you in about 14 years or so! Of course I'd forget! In my defense, if it makes you feel any better, I had this sort of feeling that something important was going on yesterday—"

"Of course it was something important, you baka! It's my birthday!"

At this point, the two old friends, if you could even call them old friends, were merely just bantering with each other over nothing. It was obvious even to them. Not like they cared, though. It was just nice to be talking to an old, familiar face.

The two talked and laughed for a little more. It was already as late as it was, and it wasn't long before they realized just how tired they were, Shinji being exhausted from the plane ride and Asuka being tired from just work. Shinji being who he was, he decided not to make any trouble and decided to sleep on the couch, with Asuka replying "Good, I'd hate to get my amazing bed all dirty just because of you!" or something of the sort.

* * *

_Most goodbyes are sad. At least, the ones that mean that you probably won't be seeing one for a long time. There were many things Shinji regretted not doing or saying when he and Misato personally sent Asuka off back to Germany. But perhaps it was for the best that he didn't confess his true feelings. After all, the only thing it would have done would hurt. It would hurt Shinji because then he would no longer be able to tell himself he didn't love her._

_The statement that he didn't love her may had been a lie, but it was a comforting lie. After all, if he went ahead and admitted to both himself and Asuka that he loved the fiery German, he'd only pain himself, as she was leaving, and there was not much to be done about that. It would also hurt her, and that was assuming she even liked him back. To this day, Shinji was mystified about Asuka's actions during their "prime days" as Evangelion pilots. At first, she was mean, then she was flirtatious, then she went straight back to mean, then flirtatious again, then all the way down to outright nasty._

_And he never found out why._

_As Asuka prepared to board the plane, Misato and Shinji said their goodbyes. The former Major hugged Asuka tightly, bidding her a sound farewell. When it came for Shinji, he saw that Asuka hesitated for a moment, before smiling at him. It was something of a combination between a warm, genuine smile that she never offered and the confident, arrogant smile that she always gave instead._

"_Well, I guess this is goodbye, Baka-Shinji! It's been fun working with you!" She said confidently as she offered a hand, though Shinji assumed that she was holding back sadness. Really, she couldn't dislike him THAT much, right?_

_Offering that trademark weak and modest smile in return, Shinji nodded. "I guess it is, Asuka," he said as he shook her hand, "Have a…safe trip. Goodbye."_

"_Auf wiedersehen, Shinji Ikari. Don't get into too much trouble, alright?!" She said with a wink._

_He nodded, letting go of Asuka's hand. It was the last time he'd be able to touch her, to feel her for a long time. "I'll make sure. Take care, Asuka."_

_Nodding, she said "See ya!" and went off, travelling back to her old life. Her normal life. And Shinji turned around, walking back to his own life._

_Their lives were so different, and the time that their roads had joined was apparently only temporary, as the roads were now going separate ways._

_The boy and the girl walked away from each other, their hearts heavy with regret, but a willingness to put that behind and look forward to the future._

* * *

Have you ever had that moment late at night or early in the morning when you were really hungry and/or thirsty, but you were afraid you'd wake someone up in your valiant quest to find sustenance? Asuka was sort of in that situation. As she found that she couldn't go to sleep, the German woman snuck out of her room and into the kitchen, past the living room with the couch Shinji was sleeping on.

Opening the fridge, she found some bottled water. Hesitating for a moment, as she didn't remember putting that there, she merely shrugged as she took it and quietly closed the fridge, obviously as not to awaken the idiot.

As she passed him, she heard him murmur something. If she heard correctly, it was "Goodbye." Blinking in surprise, Asuka wondered what the idiot might be thinking about, so ever so gently, she leaned forward to try to understand him more.

Shinji began mumbling some more in his sleep, and then said what Asuka heard as "I'll make sure. Take care, Asuka."

Asuka raised an eyebrow. There probably wasn't much more to see here, so she took her water bottle and snuck back into her room, thinking over what Shinji had said in his sleep. Had he ever said that to her before? It sounded so familiar to him. She thought, and thought. If he had to say "Take care," then it would probably mean it was a goodbye of sorts. So she began remembering relevant goodbyes she had with Shinji.

Then she remembered. Those were the last words he had said to her before she had returned to Germany. The last words he had uttered to her. She was touched that it turned out he missed her badly.

N-Not like she missed him so badly back or anything! She had a great life here in Germany! She was—Ah, whatever. Who was she kidding?

Why did she hide from her feelings? She had learned long ago the hard way that hiding from her emotions would be very painful.

Asuka smiled as she drank from the water bottle. _Take care of yourself, Baka-Shinji. _That's what she had thought back then, because she was full well capable of handling herself. Clearly, he was the one who needed to take care, after all.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah, the fluffy Chapter 2 has been completed. Overall thoughts? Comments? Errors to point out? Let me know what you think in the reviews! Also, quick thing to note that over the course of the fic, I may or may not be taking elements from both the anime and the manga of Evangelion, and if I'm bold enough, maybe even the Rebuild movies. We'll see, huh?**


	3. Hypocrisy

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 3: Hypocrisy  
**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, or the characters. Now stop asking.  
A/N: I guess you might also be able to call this something of a "slice of life," since there will be no true conflict in the story. Sorry if this turns off some people, but I'm just not into stories involving the return of NERV/SELEE after Third Impact. I guess I'm just more into peaceful stories or something.**

* * *

_I tried telling myself you were nothing more than trouble. Nothing more than competition. Just another idiot. But somewhere along the lines, you just sorta…_

* * *

Day 2 – December 6th, 2030

_An unfamiliar ceiling…_

Oh, wait. That's Asuka's ceiling. As Shinji rose from the couch, he yawned and sat up, rubbing his eyes as he did on most mornings. _It's quiet, _he thought to himself, standing up. He remembered waking up on those innocent Saturday mornings when he was fourteen, being rudely awakened by Asuka, who would demand breakfast.

He smiled to himself, remembering those cherished memories. Those were the days. It was hell back then, and well…actually, it still seemed like hell now, but he'd gladly go back to those days. Just to fix everything that he had messed up.

Looking at the clock on his phone, Shinji saw that it was about 10:15. _Damn, _he thought, _I don't usually wake up this late._

Deducing that if Asuka hadn't woken him up, it was most likely because she was probably already at work or something, and didn't want to bother him.

…Actually, that would have been too considerate of her. She was always a bother back then.

Walking into the kitchen to make breakfast, the young man found a note on the fridge that cleared everything up. Taking it, he began reading it to himself:

"_Eating a sandwich while writing this. I'm off to work. You can go ahead and make whatever for yourself to eat. Just don't burn anything. This IS my house, alright?_

—_Asuka" _

The Japanese man rolled his eyes, though he couldn't help but smile at his old friend's attitude. Maybe it was good that she hadn't changed too much all this time. After all, her strong-headed attitude was one of the reasons he lo—Err…_respected _about her.

…And a lot of that respect flew out of the window when Shinji opened the fridge.

_What the hell?! _Shinji gasped at the sight before him. It was a horribly familiar sight. Beer, beer, instant meals, and beer. There was also white bread, mayo, cheese, and other lunch meats which were just basic ingredients for basic sandwiches. Ironic how Asuka often insulted Misato's lifestyle choices and ended up doing the same things, which actually made no sense, considering how much money she made in her so-called "amazing job." A person like Shinji would never have guessed that in a fancy house like this, the fridge would just have junk food.

_There's not much to burn anyway, _Shinji thought, thinking back to the note he had read earlier. Sighing, he decided that he might as well go out and buy some stuff from the local market or so, and then when Asuka came home, maybe he'd have a nice chat with her concerning why there was just booze and TV dinners instead of rich and expensive food like…like…err, what do Germans eat, again?

Well…there were a couple of apples in a basket nearby. Maybe it turned out that these fruits only resembled apples, and were actually some fancy German fruit like…err…

Shinji raised an eyebrow at himself, embarrassed. No wonder Asuka thought he was stupid. Right, anyway. To the market! Rehearsing what he remembered of the German language, Shinji got ready, planning out the lunch he'd make for himself and then later, a nice dinner for himself and Asuka.

Walking out the not-so-obvious backdoor of Asuka's house, seeing as how he didn't have a key to her house, the Japanese man used his phone to navigate himself towards the nearest market, while also using it to look up some German dishes that he was willing to try out.

_Hmm, I wonder what Asuka would like? Err…hmm…Bratkartoffeln sounds good…however you pronounce that. Hendl also seems good. Hasenpfeffer doesn't seem too bad either, _Shinji thought as he walked. This time, he made sure to also pay attention to where he was going and made sure not to crash into anyone.

* * *

And it was decided that Shinji made Sauerbraten for himself for lunch, and to be honest, it wasn't all that bad. Bratwurst was the choice for dinner between him and Asuka. Hmph. Germany had these fancy names for their foods, and what did Japan have? White rice, fried rice, miso soup, ramen, brown rice, etc.

While making the Bratwurst with the ingredients he had purchased from the market, Shinji began thinking about back then. Back when he regularly made food for Asuka. Before…and after Third Impact. Before Third Impact, it was just him innocently making bento boxes for himself and Asuka to eat during lunchtime at school. After Third Impact…well…

Needless to say, things were pretty tense during the first few weeks after Third Impact. The relationship between Shinji and Asuka was quite strained after what they saw in each other during Instrumentality. They didn't know what to say to each other back then, and weren't even sure if they wanted to talk to each other. But time heals all wounds. Over time, the two children began to open up to each other. The process was very slow, but it was still going. And over time, more people began to return from the Sea of LCL. If one Misato Katsuragi had not returned from the ocean, then who knows what would have happened between the two former pilots? After all, if not for her, then perhaps the relationship would not have been mended at all.

Shinji sighed softly, his mind drifting off a bit as his body was set to autopilot. Life before Misato returned, huh? Now _that _was hell. Shinji felt more on edge at the time than he ever did piloting the Eva in a way.

* * *

_How disgusting._

_The words rang in Shinji's ears for a long time. They continued to ring in his ears even after he and Asuka made their way to what remained of Tokyo-3. They continued to ring in his ears even after they found the nearest apartment, which happened to be the one that they were already living in when everything was as normal as could be. When they lived with Misato. And they continued to ring in his ears when he went out in a valiant attempt to find food for himself, Asuka, and miraculously, Pen Pen, who seemed to have rejected Instrumentality rather quickly. Assuming he even had to go through that inner monologue and find the true meaning of life like he and Asuka did._

_He kept on thinking about Asuka's words as he tried to find food. Words had never made him think as hard as before. In a conversation with his mother, Shinji realized that the only true way to live is to experience true feelings, good and bad. So he rejected Instrumentality and returned to the real world. When the next person, Asuka, returned, the first words that met him insulted him. It wasn't an insult idly said without any true hatred behind it, not like the insults she'd usually throw at him before Third Impact._

_This statement. How disgusting. Shinji could feel the malice from her. He could feel her bitterness. He could feel her resentment. Hmph. While she's resting in the apartment, she's probably thinking the same thing he was. Was it really good to come back? There's nothing to come back to. Sighing to himself as he continued as valiant quest, the young boy continued to think about many things. And then he remembered. He remembered Asuka's touch._

_Her loving caress._

_Rubbing his cheek, Shinji began pondering about the touch. How she so tenderly felt his cheek. How he believed for a second that he was being forgiven for everything that he had done to her. How he believed for a second that she could excuse his threatening hands on her very neck. How he believed for a second that he was being apologized to for everything that had happened to him. And then those words._

_How disgusting._

_Did she hate him? Did she care for him? Only time will tell, it seemed. Oh, how he wished Misato was here to help. She'd know what to do._

_But the young boy knew that he couldn't depend on other people forever. He knew that now is the time that he had to stand up for himself, whether he wanted to or not. But who was he going to stand up against?_

* * *

"Guten abend, baka!" A familiar feminine voice suddenly said, startling Shinji and snapping him out of his deep trance.

It took the Japanese man a brief moment to register everything. Somehow, he managed to finish cooking the Bratwurst meal and cleaned everything up without even realizing it. _Oh, wait. Now I remember. Huh, did I really zone out that badly? _Shinji thought to himself. Alright, anyway, let's see…ah, yes. Asuka. Turning to face the German lady, who seems to have just returned, Shinji also began to try to register what she said, which also took him a small while, since Asuka decided to use both German and Japanese in one sentence.

And then Shinji produced a clever and intelligent response. "…Uhh?"

Ignoring the young man's response, Asuka walked over and examined what Shinji cooked up, before smiling. "Huh. Smells good," she commented, looking at Shinji, who blinked, before turned to the side, and for the love of God, Asuka could've sworn she saw a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Th-thanks. It's my first time making it, so I hope you like it."

"We'll see. As far as I remember, all you've ever made is your weird Japanese food, which at best, was 'not bad' in my book."

"Hey, I tried really hard to make this, y'know!" Shinji exclaimed.

Asuka laughed, getting the response she wanted. "Alright, I'm starving. Let's eat, then. Shall we?"

"Err, right," Shinji awkwardly said, opening one of the cabinets and taking out two plates, putting some food on each plate. As Asuka sat down at the dining table with the food on her plate, she began eating.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Huh. Not bad…for a first try," she said with a smirk.

"Y'know, it's really hard to get a compliment out of you, so I'll just take what I can get," Shinji said in a relaxed tone, sitting down with his own plate.

As Shinji began eating, he was unaware of Asuka staring at him, too hungry and tired to notice. Asuka stared into his blue eyes and saw something different. In all of her years, she had never let herself forget about how the idiot's eyes had a mixture of weakness and hidden strength. The weakness was more obvious and out there. After all, he was nothing _but _a wimp in her eyes at the time. This "hidden strength" was only present whenever he'd fight the Angels.

Funny how such a weak, scrawny, little punk like him could apparently be such a capable fighter on the battlefield inside Unit 01. Though it didn't cross her mind at the time, Asuka recently began speculating (recently meaning several years ago, possibly) about the possibility that the reason why Shinji was such an able fighter was the same reason she was a good fighter.

No, not because of the good synchronization numbers or the amount of training. Hell, Baka-Shinji didn't even get any training when he first got into the Eva, did he? They just—

"I thought you liked the food, Asuka? You're not eating it," Shinji said, rudely interrupting her thoughts.

Asuka mentally scowled, a bit embarrassed. "Shut up, baka! I was thinking!" She replied fiercely, eating her dinner.

Shinji couldn't help but laugh a bit. Volatile as ever, it seemed. _She's cute when she's like that. Cuter than I remember—Ah, right. Food. Food, _Shinji thought. This is nothing more than an innocent trip and an old friend offering him her home. Nothing more than that. Nothing wrong with that. Right?

Meanwhile, Asuka attempted to multitask between eating and thinking. Right, so anyway, yeah. They just shoved him into Unit 01 without any training to fight the third Angel known as Sachiel. And even then, without the training, Baka-Shinji still had a very high synchronization rate on his first go. Trying to ignore the fact that it was almost as good as where _she _was at that point, Asuka had deduced that…well, for one, she had gotten off the main point, and two, the main reason why he was quite the adept pilot was because perhaps he was holding something back.

For all of his quiet and meek exterior, Shinji seemed to possess inner thoughts full of anger, bitterness, and resentment. Much like her. After all, birds of a feather flock together, right? They were so alike, and yet…so different. But Asuka couldn't keep herself away from him. Opposites _do _attract. So in the end, for every similarity she had to him, there was a difference equaling and complementing it. And—

"Oh, I almost forgot, I have a question for you," Shinji said in the middle of the meal.

Asuka, snapped back to reality, sighed softly in annoyance, though tried her best not to show it. He wouldn't understand what it's like to have an intelligent inner monologue now, would he? "Hmm?" She simply replied, looking up at him, still staring into his eyes.

"For someone so wealthy and far in life, I'm surprised that the only things I could find in your fridge were the instant meals and beer. I would've expected to see your fridge covered with some items more…elegant," Shinji said, thinking about the sight that lay before him earlier today.

"Well, I…err…still never learned how to cook," Asuka huffed, embarrassed. She knew she couldn't lie to Shinji. She didn't know why, but she just _couldn't. _"I mean, I get take-out whenever I feel like it, which isn't often, so I more often end up eating those instant meals because they're…well, y'know, instant."

The man raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at his lips as it became apparent he was amused. "Y'know, the funniest part is how much you criticized Misato for her living conditions, and yet, excluding the really nice house, you ended up just like her. I guess both of you just don't know what to do without me, huh?" Shinji said confidently.

Wait a minute…that was it. Confidence. Confidence was what was different. Confidence was what Asuka saw in his eyes. Aha! The twerp had finally managed to grow a spine after all these years!

"Humph!" She simply replied, refusing to continue the conversation as she continued eating again.

Quite a fine night, it was.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if this ending seemed a bit rushed. I'm writing this at about 1 in the morning when my mind isn't at my best, but late is the only time when I actually feel like writing. But yeah, Chapter 3. How'd you guys like it? Please let me know how I could possibly improve with a review! Really, I could use them to motivate me to write Chapter 4 faster. Come on…please?**


	4. Angelic Days

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 4: Angelic Days  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Evangelion. I still don't, and I never will.  
A/N: Sorry for the late update, but do not fear, for I am here. With a new chapter. Fun fact; I named this chapter after the Angelic Days manga where everyone lives their normal lives. Sort of. Also, I'll be making some references to the Girlfriend of Steel video game, and as a result, the character Mana Kirishima. So yeah, hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

_We were so different, you and I. And yet at the same time, so alike. Perhaps that was why you resented me. You were afraid of being understood. Then again, I wasn't any different…_

* * *

Day 3 – December 7th, 2030

"Tell me how you convinced me to go out shopping with you again?" Shinji asked tiredly, grunting softly as he walked with Asuka. On this sunny Sunday in Germany, when Asuka was off of work, she decided to take Shinji out for not _just _shopping, but also sightseeing and so forth. After all, it was the least she could do for her old friend.

Germany was a beautiful place, Shinji had to say. It didn't disappoint at all. The people were great, the atmosphere was great, and the everything was great, actually. A refreshing change from Japan, one might say. As the two old friends walked together, Shinji couldn't help but smile a little bit. There was just something about Asuka that…calmed him. Something that put him at ease, which was ironic, considering back then, her unnerving mien was something that the then-younger Shinji chose to stay away from at times, but today, he really felt happy being with Asuka.

And the feeling was mutual. Very mutual. Asuka would never admit it to Shinji, but his sudden appearance made her so happy that her mood change had not gone unnoticed by her co-workers and subordinates. While Asuka was working on the day before, many people noted how she wasn't her usual grumpy and serious self. Instead, she was simply more…happy. She hadn't been this happy in a while, truth be told.

"I'm very persuasive! Besides, what's the point of a vacation if you're not going to go sightseeing, huh?" The German woman responded.

"Well…err, I _was _planning on doing amazing things for my vacation. But then I ran into you, and then I forgot about my personal plans. Y'know, I wanted to…get back in touch," he said truthfully.

"Oh, so you thought you could just crash at my home like a bum, is that it?" She asked, pretending to be offended, but a hint of playfulness in her tone.

Unfortunately, no matter how much Shinji may mature, it seems that he may never hear those hidden tones. "W-Well, no! That's not what I meant! I just thought—"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Asuka reassured him, holding back an amused grin, "Geez, Baka-Shinji, even after all this time and you're still as tense as ever! You need to learn to relax!"

"Agh, I could never tell if you were joking or if you were just teasing me back then. Actually, I still can't," he said with a frown.

"Yeah, but back then, everything was really…tense. Angels every other week, no field trips to the beach, and then there was that Kirishima girl…" She said, ending her sentence with disgust, as if remembering that girl made her sick.

"Oh, Mana? Right, I remember you didn't like her for some reason. I still never found out why," Shinji replied curiously. He hadn't thought about Mana Kirishima in a long time. He had put the Jet Alone incident behind him a long time ago, along with everything that had happened when he was 14.

Mana was different from most other people he had met. Like a certain white-haired boy that Shinji chose not to remember at the moment, Mana understood him and loved him for who he was, not because he was an Eva pilot or something like that. She accepted him for who he was, and for that, he loved her.

But did anything go right back in 2015? No. One thing lead to another, conflict arose, and to make a long story short, Mana had to leave. Shinji never saw her again, and it had broken his heart to see his first true girlfriend leave him.

_Oh…maybe that's why Asuka didn't like Mana. She was my first girlfriend, _Shinji thought with a small smile.

"I simply didn't like her because I thought she was weird. Too clingy on you for some reason. And wipe that damn smile off your face!" said Asuka, rudely interrupting Shinji from his inner thoughts.

* * *

After a small while, the two decided to stop at a simple restaurant for lunch. Asuka insisted that this was better than anything Shinji could cook in an attempt to get him to eat, but it actually seemed to make him more hesitant to eat there. Probably because Asuka had a tendency to exaggerate and purposefully tease him.

Whatever the case, Shinji surrendered to Asuka and let him eat there with him. Not like any other restaurant would be much different, right? The redhead decided to order for Shinji as well, believing that he wouldn't know at all what he would've wanted. At first, Shinji was a bit resistant to the idea, but once again, decided it was no use arguing with Asuka. He couldn't remember one time he won an argument against her.

Then again, she was too stubborn to even let him think he won, regardless of whether or not he actually did or not.

"So, how do you like Germany so far, Baka-Shinji?" Asuka asked shortly after they had ordered their food.

"Well, I can't comment on much," Shinji began, "When I had arrived, I was too busy looking at my little map to admire the night. So I think I ended up seeing more of your house than I did Germany before today. I have to say though; this is a very nice place, what little of it I've seen anyway. I think I'll come back here for future vacations, actually," he said with a smile.

Asuka knew she should've been glad that he was enjoying her homeland, but she couldn't help but frown a tad bit at the words "I think I'll come back." That reminded her that Shinji was here merely on vacation. He didn't come here specifically to find her. Maybe back home in Japan, he probably had a girlfriend waiting for him, or even a wife.

"Speaking of which," spoke Asuka, hiding her frown, "When _are _you planning on going back to Japan? I'd hate to imagine your one and only woman left at home all by herself," she said, testing Shinji. It wasn't unlike the tests and "signs" that she'd give the idiot back when they were both 14.

She just hoped that he'd pass this test, at least.

Well, things seemed to be looking good. Shinji blushed, so that must mean he was embarrassed. Right…?

"W-Well, err…no, I live by myself. I'm not on a set date to return. I didn't actually think about that. Business has been slow lately for some odd reason, and my co-workers have been saying I haven't been looking good recently, so they suggested I go on vacation. Besides, my love life hasn't exactly been nice to me," Shinji said openly, "I'm sure yours has been more fortunate on you."

Asuka couldn't help but smile, admittedly elated at the revelation that Shinji was still available. Still, she decided to hide her feelings until she felt that the time was right. Then again, even if no one was waiting for Baka-Shinji back home, that didn't mean he was just going to live with Asuka forever now. So she had to time this perfectly if she was going to have Shinji wrapped around her thumb.

"Hmph! Well, if you must know," she said, "I attract a great number of the men I work with, if not all of them! It's a shame most of them are dirty and perverted like you, or else I would've given them a shot."

"Ouch, that stings," Shinji said with a smile. He really did miss the teasing. His life just seemed to be so different and empty without her, "I miss it when you'd say things like that. Don't take this the wrong way, but you were always something of a…source of strength for me, y'know?"

Asuka blinked, surprised. "Err…I never believed I came off as that to you," she began, before regaining her composure and her playful tone, "I was pretty sure that all I was to you was a fantasy for your _jerk-off _sessions," the woman said.

However, the response she got was not one that she expected to get. Rather, Shinji looked down, as if embarrassed and/or ashamed of himself. After all, even if it was just a joke, it seemed that that "day in the hospital" was still a bad memory for Shinji. Meanwhile, Asuka, just about immediately realizing what she had said, really didn't mean for Shinji to react this way. After all, this was just about 15 years ago! Asuka had matured, and she had learned to forgive and forget.

"Hey, that was a joke. You were supposed to blush and laugh, Baka-Shinji," Asuka said, trying to reassure him.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that…well, I guess I never really moved on after…those days, y'know? To be honest, I don't even know how I get by these days, mentally," he said, offering a weak smile, "Speaking of which, how do _you _get by these days?"

"Well, I—" Asuka began. However, she stopped when a waiter stopped by and gave the two customers their food, "Oh, here's our food. Let's eat, then!" She exclaimed, somewhat eager to drop the subject for now.

Sighing, Shinji decided to let it go too for now, and ate his lunch.

* * *

Approximately sixteen shops, three accusations of peeping in the dressing rooms, and a lot of bags later, Shinji realized it was about 7:00 PM before he knew it. Shortly before they began shopping, Asuka offered to hold the bags containing what Shinji would buy if he would carry her bags. Shinji didn't know why she'd offer this, but went ahead with it because it seemed harmless at the time. Emphasis on "seemed" and "at the time."

Shinji hadn't felt this tired in a long time. He had already been walking for hours, and on top of that, he was carrying everything while Asuka was carrying…nothing.

"Augh, this isn't fair!" Shinji whined, "This was a trap from the beginning, wasn't it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Asuka said, her smirk contradicting her innocent expression.

"You knew I wasn't going to buy anything because I was accustomed to not having many possessions to call my own back then, didn't you?"

Asuka blinked, her eyes wide, as if she had suddenly remembered something. Shinji caught wind of this and raised an eyebrow.

"You have that look on your face as if you forgot something," the Japanese man said.

"I did forget something," she said, continuing to walk as she smiled.

"Care to tell me what exactly you forgot?"

Asuka shook her head, crossing her arms. "It's a secret. You'll have to wait until we get home, Baka-Shinji."

"Ugh, fine," Shinji groaned, "Let's get home quick then. My arms and legs really hurt, y'know."

"Oh, quit whining!"

"I can't! How about _you _try carrying all of these damned bags?!"

Asuka's light-hearted laughing filled the streets of Germany, while Shinji resigned to his fate.

* * *

"Agh, finally! Really, you just _had _to lose your car right when I get here?!" Shinji accused, dropping all of the bags and rushing to the nearest couch, and sighing loudly in relaxation as he practically collapsed on it.

"Hmph! Keep up that tone and maybe I won't show you what I want to show you!" Asuka replied.

"I don't even know if I should feel threatened. After all, I don't know what you're going to show me."

"Well, you'll know once I show you, right?" Asuka said, before disappearing into her room. Shinji could've sworn he heard her mutter "Now, where is it?" or something of the sort. Was it really that important?

Shortly afterward, Asuka popped back into the living room, her arms behind her back. It was obvious she was holding back a grin on her face. Shinji raised an eyebrow, almost as if her repressed grin was because she was planning something mischievous.

"Ta-da!" She said, before proceeding to displaying the item in front of Shinji, whose eyes widened in great surprise. He was speechless to say the least.

It was his old SDAT player! The one that he was rarely seen without back when he was a young lad. He hadn't even thought about it in years, and now, here it was again. Now what was it doing with Asuka?

…Oh, that's right. Now he remembered the details. It all started shortly after Third Impact. To put it simply, the damn machine was like a cockroach; both could survive horrible catastrophes, but can easily be destroyed by being stomped on.

"I…Th-that's…" Shinji stammered, trying to find the right words. Asuka walked over to him, slowly bringing it to him. However, as soon as Shinji was about to take it, Asuka suddenly jerked it back away from him.

"Why should I give this to you if you're not going to be sorry for what you said?" She said, now unable to hide her grin.

"Wh-what?" Shinji said, still trying to recover from the sight of his SDAT, "What did I say?"

"I take you out on a wonderful tour of Germany, and you have the gall to complain about walking everywhere! I demand an apology, or else you're not getting your old thing back!" She said, revealing her "diabolical plans" to the still dumbfounded Shinji.

Shinji couldn't help but briefly chuckle at Asuka, as if she were making a joke. It actually was something of a joke. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry I was rude to you. I should have been more appreciative of how you donated your time for me. Now, can I have my old SDAT player back?" He said with a small smirk.

Asuka frowned, disappointed that she didn't get to see Shinji on his knees beg and moan for his old thing back, but whatever. "Alright, alright. Here ya go," she said, handing the young man his old relic.

"Danke," he said with a genuine smile. As he examined the old thing, he was astounded to find that it was actually in pristine quality. Well, almost. There were a few scratches here and there, but then again, that was to be expected. The headphones were also intact, surprisingly intact, but given how old those things were, Shinji would probably replace those headphones with some new ones. That was, assuming he was even going to listen to this. Now, this was just an old relic he was probably going to look at and remember fondly instead of actually using.

"Gern geschehen!" She replied, "And…I'm sorry. For back then," she said with a sad smile, remembering what she had done back then.

* * *

_Amazing to think that with the world in ruins, there were plenty of things that survived. Pen Pen, a few TV dinners of Misato's that would probably only last them a few days, and somehow, Shinji's old SDAT player._

_About one day had passed since the fateful day everything had gone to hell. One day after Third Impact had just about destroyed the world. Needless to say, Asuka was still angry at Shinji, who was also angry with himself. If he hadn't let his anger consume him, then he wouldn't have become a catalyst for Instrumentality. Everything could've been back to normal if only he would have learned to accept himself for who he was._

_But he couldn't accept himself. Not now, of all times. Not now, when he had brought about the apocalypse. So if he was going to live, he wasn't going to live for himself. At least, not yet. He was going to live for Asuka, the girl who deeply hated his guts. But he couldn't blame her. Even if he tried, he couldn't blame her at all. Whatever negative feelings of disgust she had for him were totally justified in Shinji's book._

_Thinking about all this at the dining table, he felt something poke his leg. Waking back up to reality, Shinji looked down to see that Pen Pen was pecking his leg, requesting food. _

"_Wark," it simply said._

"_Right, I guess someone's hungry," Shinji said, sighing softly, before proceeding to take his old SDAT player and put it in his pocket, preparing to refill the penguin's food bowl._

_It was then that Shinji realized he had probably slept at the dining table, instead of going to his room. Was he really that tired? Shrugging to himself, he lumbered back over to the table, taking his music player out of his pocket and placing it back onto the table, not intending to go anywhere or do anything for a while. So he just sat there, head down, his arms covering his eyes, almost like he was trying to sleep._

_However, those plans were short-lived when Asuka approached. He didn't hear her footsteps, but he heard her demands._

"_I'm hungry," she said simply. No name-calling, no loud yelling, nothing. Nothing that the old Asuka would've done. She was now cold and straight to the point, "Make me something to eat. Now."_

"_Maybe later, okay?" Shinji responded passively, barely lifting his head up. He couldn't bear himself to even look at Asuka in the eye. He didn't want to do anything right now. He just wanted to be left alone at the moment. Left by himself._

_Asuka growled in annoyance. "No. Now," she fiercely demanded, her hands on her hips. "Get off your lazy ass for God's sake."_

"_I…I can't right now," Shinji said softly, "Please…just leave me alone right now. I…I'm thinking over…some things."_

"_Thinking? Thinking?!" The redheaded demon bellowed, furiously grabbing the SDAT player and slamming it to the ground, Shinji's ear plugs being yanked out of his ears as well. Stomping on the player, Asuka glared hotly at him, "Listen here, Shinji Ikari, there's no use in thinking because thinking will not fix anything! Thinking won't bring back Misato, do you hear me? Thinking won't bring back Kaji, Dr. Akagi, Hikari, your two stooge friends, or ANYONE! You can't just think away everything, because in actuality, you're really doing nothing to help! If you really want to rebuild this damned world, then do something about it! Help us survive so we can live to see the world rebuilt, dammit! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"_

_The words stabbed Shinji deeply, but inside, he knew she was right. No matter how harsh Asuka was, he knew that she wasn't wrong. She had a right to be angry at him, and making things worse was not going to rebuild the world. After all, right now, he and Asuka were the only two humans left on Earth. He could have at least helped her, if he couldn't help himself._

"_Right…you're right…I'm sorry," he practically whispered back, slowly standing up._

"_Stop apologizing," she said, slowly calming down, but still infuriated at him, "And just…forget what I said and start cooking."_

"_Okay…" Shinji whispered again, holding back tears. He dearly missed everyone. He could use someone's guidance right about now._

"_Sorry about the mess," Asuka said, trying to sound casual after blowing up like that. As she picked up Shinji's SDAT, she looked at it for a second, before turning around and walking back to her room, machine in hand. Shinji never found out what she intended to do with it, as he felt that totally destroying it even more seemed too cruel even by her standards, and believing that fixing it was something Asuka wouldn't do._

_But whatever. Shinji had sacrificed the world and humanity out of bitterness and got nothing in return. So what was losing a simple music player?_

"_I'm sorry, Asuka," the young boy breathed, "I'll make everything up to you one day. I promise…_

* * *

**A/N: Well, how did you like that? I didn't make any weird errors or anything, did I? Be sure to let me know what you thought of the chapter in a review, please! Also, if you're feeling that too much of "nothing" is happening in these chapters, don't worry. If things go right, then I intend for the next chapter to be quite significant, even if it might be short as well. But don't worry, I'm picking up the pace. Just be patient! Until then, see ya!**


	5. Do You Love Me?

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 5: Do You Love Me?  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Evangelion. Hideaki Anno and Studio Gainax do. Or something like that. I guess Studio Khara would also own Evangelion or something, since they're making the Rebuild movies.  
A/N: Well, whoop-de-doo. New chapter. I named this chapter after the 25****th**** episode of the original NGE series because I think it's fitting like that. Anyhow, enjoy, folks.**

* * *

_I loved you, but I also hated you in a way. I hated how you could never look between the lines and see what I really wanted you to say or do. You couldn't even see how much you meant to me. But maybe…that part was my fault, Shinji._

* * *

Day 4 – December 8th, 2030

"_I hate you. I can't stand you. You disgust me," the words rang in Shinji's ears. It was Asuka's voice, but…something was wrong. She sounded different…because her voice was higher for some odd reason._

_Examining his surroundings, Shinji found that he just about literally nowhere. Everything around him was pitch black. Pure darkness everywhere. The only color in the dark world was the red of Asuka's hair and the yellow of her sundress. And the sundress was the indicator that this was a different Asuka. It was the 14 year old "Red Devil" that he had known back then._

"_Is it because I'm so much like you?"_

_Shinji examined himself, looking at his arms. They were…smaller. Less developed. This physical body must have been 14 years old as well. Looking down, he saw that he was wearing his old school uniform; white shirt and black pants. What was going on?_

"_I wish I never met you. I was better off not knowing you at all."_

_Finding that he was more floating in the nothingness than standing, Shinji tried to float over to Asuka, but found that he couldn't move. But Asuka could move. Scowling at him, she slowly inched towards him, but her expression unsettled Shinji, as if she were intending to do something bad._

"_But you do know me. I can't do anything to change that," Shinji said, standing his ground, which was unusual for him, especially when he was 14 years old._

"_Oh, is that so? Do I really know you, Third Child?"_

_Third Child. He hadn't heard that name in a long time. As Asuka drew closer and closer, the need to get away increased, but still, Shinji found that he couldn't move, so he simply stayed there, awaiting whatever Asuka was planning._

"_Do I?" She asked, softly touching his cheek when she was close enough. It was the same sort of touch she gave him when he was on top of her, his hands squeezing her neck. The caress that gave the illusion of forgiveness. And yet…this warmth…it felt genuine, so Shinji didn't keep his guard up. His wariness diminished completely at the warm touch of her fingers. He even dared to notice that her expression softened a bit, her eyes suddenly carrying longing instead of resentment._

"_I…" Shinji began, but realizing that he didn't know how to respond. Oh, how he wanted to say so many things. But it was frustrating to know that the words were stuck in his throat, all crammed together._

"_Maybe I'll know you…" Asuka murmured, her hand lowering slightly to the side of his neck, "…Once you know retribution!" She suddenly yelled, revealing the warmth in her eyes and fingers to be a façade. Returning to her original angry state, Asuka's hands grabbed onto Shinji's neck and squeezed harshly, choking him, strangling him, hurting him._

_And that was when the dream ended._

* * *

"GAHH!" Shinji shouted suddenly, waking up.

He was immediately met with a yelp from someone else, and at that, he was so surprised he yelped back, before realizing that Asuka (the real Asuka, at least) was sitting right next to him on the couch, clearly startled at his scream.

"Geez, you scared me, Baka-Shinji!" Asuka said, punching his arm, "Damn well lucky I already put the coffee mugs down! Else I would've probably dropped them!"

Raising an eyebrow, Shinji took some time to get back into the real world. It seemed that somehow, Asuka had managed to push up Shinji's legs without waking him so that she could have room to sit. Looking down on the coffee table, Shinji saw the two cups of coffee Asuka had just mentioned.

Sitting up, the young man made a sound that seemed to be a combination between a groan and a yawn. "Sorry. I just…had a weird dream," he said, averting Asuka's look. Even if he knew it was just a bad dream, he couldn't bring himself to look at her. It seemed that even if he told himself he moved on, Shinji's dreams would still haunt him.

"Hmph! You can go ahead and not tell me about your perverted fantasies, thank you very much!" She exclaimed, grabbing a remote control from the table and turning on the TV in front, watching the news. Shinji wasn't paying attention to the TV, instead trying to fully wake up. He was used to only being awakened by his alarm clock or naturally. In fact, surprisingly, it just so happened that Shinji rarely had bad dreams.

Maybe he was just so good at blocking his memories and emotions that everything came flashing back to him in the dreams after meeting up with Asuka again.

"Nngh…" Shinji muttered, rubbing his eyes and ignoring the redhead's comment, "It's Monday. Shouldn't you be at work, Asuka?"

"Thanks for worrying, _dad,_" she said, a glimmer of annoyance in her voice, "But no, I don't have work on Mondays. I'm off on Sundays and Mondays," she explained.

"Ah," Shinji simply nodded, slowly reaching over and taking the coffee mug, bringing it up to his face and blowing at the hot beverage, "Are we going to have another fun adventure today like the one we had yesterday?"

Asuka yawned, taking her drink as well. "Nope, today is the day I usually rest and relax," she said, before mischievously smirking at Shinji, "But you're not getting any rest. Not yet, anyway."

"Oh, is that why you sat next to me? Waiting to inform me of my mission? I assumed you were just watching me sleep or something like that," Shinji said somewhat sarcastically.

He was answered with a slap that almost made him drop his beverage and a "Hmph!" to boot.

Rubbing his wound, scowling a bit in pain, Shinji sighed, concluding that he sort of deserved the slap, and simply drank his coffee. "Right…err, anyway, why aren't I getting any rest today?" He asked, deciding to move on.

"I finally got a call from those bozos I mentioned from earlier, and my car is finally fixed! I swear, they were messing around with my car, but whatever. I need you to come over and pick up my car for me, so be a dear and do that, 'kay?" She told Shinji.

"Err…why exactly do _I _have to pick up _your _car? I'm here for my vacation, not for your slaver demands!" Shinji whined, putting his coffee down.

"You know…I _could _just kick you outta my house," she said with an evil smirk.

"Agh. Alright, alright! I'll get your damn car! Sheesh," Shinji exclaimed, "Just let me wake up, and I'll just be on my way. Won't you at least come with me? It'd be awfully lonely if I were to just go by myself," he said with a smile.

Asuka blushed slightly, but then shook her head, as if she were literally trying to shake the blush off her face. "Well, too bad! Monday is my official relaxation day, and I don't care how hard it is for you to believe it! I'm not gonna do squat today!"

"Agh, right…" Shinji sighed, breathing deeply as he stood up, "I guess I might as well also get some groceries. Jesus, normal people buy groceries every week or so, but it's only been a few days, and all the food I bought you is suddenly mysteriously gone," he said, admittedly a tad peeved, "Y'know, if you eat too much, then sooner or later, you're gonna get—"

"Don't you dare say that word!"

"…What, fat?"

SLAP.

"Ow! I didn't—I didn't actually call you fat or anything! I was just saying that—"

SLAP.

"Stop slapping me!" Shinji cried, protecting his sore cheek with his hand, "I'm sorry!"

"Hmph! Serves you right for suggesting that my beautiful figure would ever be overweight! If anything, I bet _you _would be the fat one, cooking up all that rich food for yourself all the time and gorging yourself!" Asuka just about bellowed, crossing her arms.

"H-Hey! Now that was uncalled for!"

"You were about to call me fat, so I just merely beat you to the name-calling! Anyway, fine, go ahead and buy more groceries if you want! More alone time for me!" She said, pouting a little bit as she continued to cross her arms.

"Right, right. Just let me get dressed," Shinji said, glancing at his clothes.

* * *

After a very quick breakfast, changing of the clothes, and not shaving, Shinji made his way out of Asuka's house and towards the streets of Germany by himself. Dressed in a simple red shirt and brown pants, Shinji remembered the directions that Asuka had given him to the shop. The walk took a good thirty minutes or so, and that wasn't even considering the many rests Shinji took. Before the man knew it, it was already about 1:20 PM or so.

Pressing forward, he eventually made it to the shop, where he met the two men working at the moment, and they looked exactly as he had imagined them; somewhat overweight, dirty, one wearing a mustache, the other being bald, and both of them sporting blue jumpsuits with yellow gloves.

The man with the mustache took out a cigarette, lighting it, before looking at Shinji in irritation. "Yea'? You need somethin', pal?"

Shinji resisted the urge to scowl in disgust at the worker's poor manners and simply decided to be straightforward. "My friend sent her sports car here for repairs a few days ago, and I'm here to get it for her. Her name's Asuka Langley Sohryu."

The mustache man, cigarette in mouth, glanced at his co-worker, who proceeded to leave momentarily to fetch Asuka's sports car. As he left, the mustache man took out his cigarette and looked at Shinji. "I remember her. Tell your friend that your car is…_very_ red. It's so bright that I bet it attracts a lot of attention on the road."

Shinji couldn't help but smile at that assumption. "It's her favorite color. I remember it well," he said somewhat sentimentally, nodding in agreement.

Despite being warned, Shinji was surprised at how red Asuka's car was. It was the deepest form of red he had ever seen. At least, that was what he believed at the time. Then again, the fact that it was so…shiny…helped. He might even be willing to say that it was the most beautiful car he had ever seen. Almost has beautiful as its driver.

_...Err, right. Groceries. Let's go, Shinji,_ he thought, snapping himself out of it. Shinji made his way into the car and drove off for the innocent groceries for his innocent vacation.

Deducing that if Asuka had eaten all the food so quickly, that must've meant that the items he bought during his second day here were really good, right? Shinji decided to buy most of the same things he bought last time, but also decided to buy a few extra items just to make things interesting.

…Maybe some extra microwave meals and beers would be nice for Asuka? Why not?

And like that, Shinji looked at the clock and saw that it was now 1:55 PM. Good heavens, Asuka was probably really mad at him by now! Shinji could practically already hear the accusations of taking a joyride in her car, among other insults.

* * *

Feeling that yelling "Asuka, I'm home!" a la the pre-Second Impact show I Love Lucy was going to get him yelled at, Shinji sighed silently and set the groceries down. Surprised when he realized that he wasn't currently being yelled at by a storming Asuka, Shinji deduced that something was wrong and began to investigate.

…He just wished that he was at least a few minutes later than he already was. The sight that lay before him left him baffled, to say the least. It was difficult to explain, let alone witness. Luckily, Asuka hadn't noticed him yet.

Taking the time to analyze carefully what he was looking at, Shinji's wide eyes simply stared at Asuka, who had tears coming out of her eyes. She was watching TV, so…that must be what's making her crying. And…is that beer on the coffee table?! Yeah, that's beer! Four (seemingly) empty cans of beer!

As Shinji inched forward softly, he could now see the screen and hear the words on the TV and began piecing together why Asuka was crying.

It was a damned romance movie. But not any romance movie. A _tragedy_ romance movie or something like that. At least, that's what he could infer from the dialogue.

Looking at the TV, Shinji saw that in the movie, a young woman dressed in black was standing over a grave on a rainy day, so Shinji could guess that perhaps the male character had died and the woman was grieving or something? Shrugging to himself, Shinji saw that the woman in the movie was talking to the grave.

Sparing the details, the main jist was "I'm sorry, I was wrong. Please forgive me."

Sighing, Shinji rubbed the bridge of his nose, not wanting to think about "poor decisions" and "forgiveness." He had had enough of those for a lifetime.

Then he had a thought. Was this the answer to the question he had asked her yesterday? After all, he never got an answer to how Asuka coped with her past. So was this it?

Acting upon his suspicions, Shinji decided to make his presence be known. "So, this is what you do when no one's around, hmm?"

Asuka nearly jumped, but looked back to see Shinji. Her eyes suddenly widening in embarrassment, she looked away and began rubbing her eyes, though little did she realize at the time, this was actually making her eyes _more _red than they already were. Funny what alcohol could do to one who had graduated from college at the age of 14.

Failing to withstand the need to chuckle a bit, Shinji walked around and sat down on the couch next to Asuka, who sighed loudly.

"So, you know my secret," she slurred due to the alcohol, "This is mortifying."

"It's really quite funny. You're the last person I'd expect to be doing something like this," he said with a smile, scooting closer to Asuka, "It's nice, though. It's nice seeing that you haven't lost your…sensitive side."

"Rub sandpaper on your nipples," She replied, the beer influencing whatever she said, obviously, "So…are you gonna watch this movie with me or are you just gonna laugh some more?"

"I'll watch it with you," he said with a smile, scooting until he was as close as Asuka would allow him.

In the movie, the woman began recounting her past with the man that she loved. They had met on a ship of sorts, and fell in love there. They were only teenagers back then though, it seemed. _Couldn't have been older than 16_, Shinji thought.

To be frank though, Shinji wasn't actually paying more attention. He was actually more wary of the fact that Asuka got really comfortable and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Mm, this is my favorite part!" Asuka said, interrupting Shinji from his thoughts.

So apparently, the girl gave the guy her number, they got off the ship, and after some time, the guy called and asked her out because they became such good friends on the ship. It was notable that the boy was somewhat shy and a tad reserved, while the girl was outspoken and loud.

…Just like him and Asuka.

Shinji's eyes greatly widened again when he felt Asuka wrap her arms around him. Finding that he was blushing, but not entirely uncomfortable, Shinji sighed, and put his own arm around Asuka, as he gambled that in her drunken state, she wouldn't lash out at him. After all, no matter how much he'd tell himself otherwise, he _did _want this.

It was only a matter of time before he found out if Asuka wanted this as well. If she wanted him as well.

She didn't refuse his touch. Instead, she actually snuggled with him uncharacteristically. She was like a small child now. She looked so vulnerable…yet so peaceful.

But was Shinji sure that Asuka wanted this? She _was _drunk. Who knows what she'd do in this state?

"This movie makes me cry every time I watch it," Asuka murmured, "So tragic to see that nothing good ever came out of their love."

"You're drunk," Shinji said, "And you need to rest. Come on, I'm taking you to bed," he said sternly, like a father. He stood up, Asuka still on him. She whined a bit, but reluctantly went with him.

"Sh-Shinji…" Asuka hiccupped, "W-Why did you let me leave? All those years ago, when I was boarding th-the plane to Germany…" she continued, hiccupping again. Shinji did not like where this was going. This conversation would inevitably lead to trouble, wouldn't it?

"…Because Germany was your home. Since your father was back and the Angels were all defeated, there was no more point in you staying in Japan anymore. After all, you _did _have your own life there, right?" Shinji responded, "It was time you returned. Your family and friends back home missed you a lot, I bet."

"Bah! You and Hikari were both better friends than the so-called ones I had in Germany!" She said angrily, before gently pushing herself away from Shinji in an attempt to stand upright by herself, "Baka-Shinji, did you love me?"

_Uh-oh, _Shinji thought, believing that no matter how he answered, whether it be "Yes," "No," or "Uhh," it was likely things won't end well.

Things were silent for a brief moment as Shinji tried to lead Asuka to her room. However, Shinji should had remembered that ignoring Asuka never worked, because before he knew it, he was pushed against the wall, his arms held in place by Asuka's hands, her eyes staring at him, awaiting an answer. "Well?"

"…" Shinji didn't know how to answer. The question was so sudden that it had taken him by surprise, "…Y-Yes. I found that I cared for you more than I thought, and before I knew it…a lot of things happened; you were in a coma, then you had to fight those Mass Production Evas…and then I ruin everything with Third Impact, and then after that—"

Shinji didn't get to finish, as he was interrupted when he felt something press against his lips. At this rate, Shinji's eyes were so wide that it almost looked as if they'd pop right out of his sockets any minute. Asuka was kissing him! The young man had poured out his heart to her, and this is what happens. To be honest, this really was the last thing Shinji expected to happen.

As she pulled away, her face so close to Shinji's, she smiled. "That's all I needed to hear, Baka-Shinji," she whispered, "All I ever needed to hear was that you cared about me," she continued as she cupped Shinji's face and kissed him deeply again.

Conflicted by his emotions, Shinji initially just stood there like a statue while being kissed, as he was trying to quickly process everything. He wanted this, there was no doubt about that, but he couldn't help but think about how this all probably wouldn't be happening if Asuka wasn't drunk. This was definitely something she wouldn't do under normal circumstances.

But really now, was he going to try to tell himself that there was no way in hell that Asuka felt anything for him? After all the time they had spent together, from the day they met in 2015 to today in December 2030, it was impossible that she'd have no strong feelings for him whatsoever.

Shinji, slowly but deliberately, wrapped his arms around Asuka as he began to kiss her back. _This is insane! _Shinji thought to himself. Poor Asuka was under the influence of her beer. Did she really want it like this? Was he sure she wanted this at all?

Before the conflicted man could continue his inner train of thought, Asuka suddenly pulled away from the kiss, grabbed his arm tightly, and dragged him into her room. Throwing herself and Shinji onto the bed, Shinji himself was bewildered to find himself in the position that he was in now; on top of Asuka in her bed.

Asuka leaned up, possibly in another attempt to kiss him again, but Shinji, with all of his remaining willpower, stopped her, pulling back a bit. "Asuka…wait…are you sure you really want this?" He asked, deciding to put his mind at ease, "You're…you're…"

"I love you, idiot," she said seriously, that look in her eyes giving Shinji the impression that the alcohol had majestically worn off or something, "I'd give myself all to you," she whispered.

Shinji looked down at her, supporting himself up with his arms. "I…I love you too," he said.

It was the most meaningful "I love you" he had ever said in his life. Then again, it was because he sincerely meant it. Every word. Whenever he'd say those words to his past girlfriends, it would actually feel like just a simple "I like you" or a meaningless "I care about you" to him. Shinji might even go as far as to say that while he still felt empty and hollow when he was single and when he was with his past girlfriends, he felt truly complete and at peace with Asuka. Because he didn't _just _like her. Because he didn't _just _care about her. With all of his big heart, he truly loved her to the end.

Resting her hand on Shinji's, Asuka smiled beautifully. "I may had been too naïve and proud to say it back then, but I'm not afraid to say it now. I need you. I…I'm not afraid anymore to say that I need to depend on other people. It wasn't until after I returned to Germany that I realized what I was now without, because I kept…I kept telling myself that you didn't need me. That you were better off without me," she said sadly, before laughing softly, "I actually convinced myself that you might have been happy with Ayanami instead of me."

"I don't care about what I actually did need. I only care about you," he said, leaning closer towards Asuka, "I never let anyone get close to me back then, but somehow, you managed to slip in between the cracks, and I let you get close to me without even realizing it."

"I was actually thinking the same thing. I thought I didn't need anyone. I thought that depending on others was for the weak. But I needed you. I depended on you. I loved you deeply. And before I knew it, I let you hurt me, I let you comfort me, and I let myself confide in you. I trusted you, even if I didn't _believe _I trusted you."

"So what happens now?" Shinji asked.

"I want to be with you, but only if you want to be with me," she said. The way she said it…and the fact she even said that at all…was so unlike her that Shinji took a quick moment to process that.

Eventually though, he nodded. "I'll be with you for as long as you need me, Asuka."

* * *

Kisses were exchanged, clothes were discarded, and love was made. It was as simple and quick as that; Shinji slept with Asuka. When Shinji woke up, he was a tad alarmed to find himself naked, on top of a naked Asuka, in her bed. As Shinji examined her, he saw a bunch of scars on her body, notably her chest and arm. If Shinji remembered correctly, he could guess where the scars were from. They were probably from the very last fight Asuka ever fought. When she fought those Mass Production Evas. Shinji could remember so vividly the image of those spears puncturing her body (or rather, Unit-02), but this was no time to remember bad memories.

Having quickly composed himself and remembering what had happened, Shinji sighed softly. He felt…different. It was almost as if he had found purpose in life. If that purpose involved living for Asuka's sake. Meanwhile, his movement, no matter how unnoticeable it seemed, woke up Asuka.

Giving her room, Shinji pushed himself up a bit, now hovering over her with his arms supporting him up. The same position he was in an hour or two ago. Shinji quickly began stressing over what if Asuka didn't remember, and what she would do to him.

But as she woke up and looked at him, she peacefully smiled deeply. Her eyes told him that she wasn't suffering from any hangover pain or anything, and if she was smiling at him while they were like this, it meant that she certainly remembered and didn't regret anything. Wait a minute…her eyes! In the four days that Shinji was with Asuka, it never seemed to occur to him that one of Asuka's eyes was a shade lighter than the other.

As he was trying his best not to remember why this was so, Asuka lifted her arm and gently stroked Shinji's cheek. That touch. It was just about the same loving touch she gave him on that beach all those years before. As a result, Shinji froze and tensed up, memories and emotions flashing before him.

He didn't snap back to reality until Asuka playfully flicked his nose, causing him to blink and pull back a bit in surprise. Realizing that there was nothing to be afraid of, he smiled back at Asuka, and rolled off of her, lying next to her.

Though Shinji had this nagging feeling in the back of his heart as if he had made a bad mistake professing his love, this nagging was easily overshadowed by the butterflies in his stomach. His heart fluttered as Shinji was honestly happier than he was in a long time, if not for his _entire life. _But perhaps in the long run, the happiest day of his life was actually the day he met Asuka, because if not for that day, then there was no doubt Shinji would not be where he is right now.

Asuka hugged Shinji from behind, and for now, the two lovers were at peace.

* * *

**A/N: I like how I thought this chapter was going to be short. Like 1,000 word short. But no, this chapter goes ahead and turns out to be 4,000 words! Err, anyway, yeah. We're nearing the end, people! We're just about halfway through the story. If things go as planned, then there will be two more chapters, followed by an epilogue, and an alternate ending. Stay tuned. As always, feel free to let me know what you thought with a review!**


	6. Familiar Feelings of Helplessness

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 6: Familiar Feelings of Helplessness and Uncertainty  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Even though now that I think about it, I'm probably still not going to be sued anyway if I don't put up this disclaimer.  
A/N: I just want to point out that Kaworu will be mentioned in this chapter, and I'm using his manga incarnation, which will explain why Asuka knows who he is, since in the manga, Kaworu met Shinji right after the Bardiel fight. Speaking of manga elements, I also took the liberty of making a few changes that fit with that as well, like Toji's fate, so yeah. Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

_I love you._

* * *

Day 5 – December 9th, 2030

Asuka awoke to the sound of something sizzling in the kitchen. As she opened one eye, she saw that the door was open, Shinji was not in bed with her (as Asuka reluctantly let him finally sleep in her bed last night), and she could smell something pleasant from her room. Yawning, she rubbed her eyes and slowly got out of bed, stretching a bit.

She began remembering what had transpired yesterday. Smiling to herself, the redhead was pleased that her ploy had worked. Everything went according to planned, and things turned out great. The day before, shortly after Shinji left, Asuka had begun her plan, strategically placing four empty cans of beer on the coffee table, began playing a movie that she had recorded, and waited until the time was right. Then she would strike. Or something.

For someone who had no experience in acting, Asuka was satisfied that Shinji took the bait without question. _Maybe I should be an actress. I'm certainly pretty enough to be one, _Asuka thought to herself, smiling.

_It's early, _she then suddenly thought as she looked at the clock. It was about 6:20 AM. Her alarm didn't even wake her up, since Shinji's cooking apparently already did it. Ah, well. She could use the extra time to get ready for work.

Meanwhile, as expected, Shinji indeed was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. He was in deep concentration, until he felt Asuka hug him from behind. "Morning, Asuka," he simply said to her as he continued cooking.

"Whatcha cookin', Shin-chan?" She asked curiously, beginning to look over his shoulder. She smiled as she saw Shinji raise an eyebrow at the nickname. He hadn't been called that ever since he was a teenager. By Misato, at least. Asuka never called him that.

"Breakfast," he answered obviously and rather curtly. How uncharacteristic of him, Asuka pointed out after raising an eyebrow at his response.

"Gee, thanks," she muttered, letting go of him.

Realizing what he had done, Shinji cleared his throat in mild embarrassment. "S-Sorry. I…just had a bad dream, and I couldn't go back to sleep."

"Do you always just cook after waking up from a bad dream?" She asked, leaning against the counter.

"No," he simply replied, "Then again, I never remember my dreams. After I woke up, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I just got up because I didn't want to bother you," he explained.

For some odd reason, this brought a smile upon Asuka's face. "Idiot," she breathed.

"You looked peaceful when you were sleeping, y'know," Shinji commented, beginning to finish.

Asuka blinked, slightly taken aback by the comment, but managed to recover rather quickly. "Err…r-right. Anyway, what was your dream about?" She asked as Shinji walked over to the cabinets and drew two plates, "Was I in it?" She added playfully.

"Y-Yeah, you were," he said somewhat shakily, setting the plates down, "Go sit down. I'll tell you more about it at the table."

Nodding, Asuka did so and sat down at the dining table, waiting. Checking the time, she was pleased to see that if she finished her breakfast quickly enough, she'd have some spare time to spend with Shinji. As the young chef walked over, carrying the two plates and setting them down on the table, he sat down next to Asuka, before walking back to the kitchen to get the utensils. "Almost everyone was in my dream, actually," Shinji began as he came back.

"Oh yeah?" She responded with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. You, Rei, Misato, Father, Mr. Kaji, Toji, Kaworu…" He said, remembering each name. The way he said the words…it was almost as if it physically hurt him to remember. "I was just…remembering the old days. Back when we were pilots," he said softly, trying to enjoy his fresh meal.

Asuka looked at Shinji. Empathy was never really a strong point of Asuka, but as she grew older and mature, she began to improve. Nodding, she put her hand on Shinji's. "That's the past. This is now."

"I know. I tried to move on, but I found that I couldn't. I don't know how I live with myself these days. Before I met up with you, I just felt…sorta dead inside. Nothing could help me," he said, looking at his lover, "Y'know, I had to go through _a lot _of therapy after Third Impact. After you left, at least. And…no matter what, I never really healed up, I find that I'm still just as weak as I was when I was 14, and—"

Shinji was interrupted when Asuka suddenly pulled him into a hug. "Baka-Shinji…just be quiet, okay?" She whispered in his ear, "I can't stand to hear you ramble," she continued, attempting to lighten up the mood a bit.

Shinji sighed, closing his eyes momentarily. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing," she said with a smile. _Just like when we were fourteen, _she nostalgically thought to herself, "You miss them though, don't you? You miss everyone?"

Shinji nodded. "I…I miss everyone. I often wish that I'd get a second chance and fix everything. Who knows? Maybe Toji wouldn't be _dead. _Maybe Mr. Kaji would still be here. Maybe Kaworu…" He began, before stopping, seemingly not able to bear the thought of the white-haired boy he once knew.

"It's not your fault," she tried to assure Shinji, afraid he wouldn't be as stubborn as she was in her younger years, "I'm…sorry for everything I said to you back then. I was wrong. I was just…angry. Confused."

"I…I…" Shinji began, before hugging Asuka tightly, trying desperately to hold back tears, "I was weak, I was disgusting, I was cowardly, I—"

"Stop this!" Asuka exclaimed, hugging Shinji tighter than before, "The past is in the past! Please, I…made the mistake of pushing you away when we were younger, but I won't make the same mistake now! I'll help you, but I can only help you if you let me…" She said, looking straight into Shinji's eyes.

"Asuka…" He said, before looking away, "God, I feel like a mess."

"You're also starting to look like one too," she said, again trying to make a joke to lighten up the mood, "But I know you better than that. I'm glad I got to know you. If I never met you, I don't know where in the world I'd be right now…"

"A-Asuka…"

"Please, Shinji, don't put yourself down like this. You're…you're the most important person to me. I love you," she said.

"…Thank you. And err…sorry for making a scene."

"I just told you to stop apologizing, idiot," she said with a smile, "Tell you what, if you ever have a problem, I'll be here for you," she said, pulling away from him slowly.

"Th-thanks, Asuka," he said. It was frankly odd to hear someone like Asuka say those words, but he wasn't going to question it. After all, it'd also be odd to imagine that in the many years that they had been apart, that Asuka wouldn't have changed at all.

"Alright. Now stop being so depressed. If you keep this up, you'll make your delicious food all cold," she cupped his face and ever so gently kissed his cheek.

So uncharacteristic of her. So unlike her. So much like a mother.

"Sorr—Err, I mean…okay."

The image of Asuka, sitting in a chair, hugging and comforting Shinji, sitting next to her, was an odd image, but neither of them said anything about it.

* * *

After they had finished their (fortunately) not-cold breakfast, Asuka had left for work and Shinji was left to do whatever. In an attempt to distract himself from the resurfacing memories, the troubled man took the remote control and turned on the TV, flipping through the many channels available. He felt bad for trying to run away again. He felt no better than his 14 year old self. Had he truly not learned anything from Instrumentality, dammit? Had Third Impact not taught him anything?

Was Toji's death in vain, dammit?! Did Kaworu have to die?!

…Would Father still be here?

Even after all these years, Shinji couldn't bear to face his father, even if he was only just thinking about him. After all, Gendo Ikari was long dead. For some bizarre and scary reason, the lower part of his body was all that remained of his body. It was almost as if the rest of him had been chewed off by some sort of monstrosity. Needless to say, Gendo Ikari is officially classified as "deceased."

For some reason or another, though, it was decided that they would not bury what was left of his body. Instead, his body, or rather what was left of it, was cremated. So thus, like his wife, Yui Ikari, his grave had no body underneath it.

_Was this what you wanted, Father? _Shinji thought to himself, not paying any attention to the television, _Did you truly care about me? Or did you just hate me?_

Wherever Gendo Ikari was, whether it turned out his soul was stuck in Instrumentality, or if he was watching Shinji from the heavens, the young man wondered if his parents had finally been reunited. That was what Father wanted, after all. That was what he wanted more than anything in the entire world.

Shinji was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a loud "BOOM." An explosion to be more specific. He damn well almost had a heart attack, before realizing that it was only the damned television!

Just a stupid action movie.

If Shinji hadn't realized it faster, he might've gotten some flashbacks about fighting the Angels. Thank whatever God there is out there that he didn't.

Grabbing the remote again, Shinji changed channels and continued to do so, trying to find something that would spark his interest. A romantic-comedy, a news report about a possibility that they would change the name of New Tokyo-3 to Tokyo-4 (Why they would wait this long to suddenly decide to change the name was a mystery), something on the History Channel, and the weather reports.

Eventually deducing that he would find nothing of interest on TV, Shinji turned it off and stood up, walking into Asuka's room where he had laid his baggage last night when she finally let him personally spend the night with her. Funny, in the several days Shinji had been here, he never even used his laptop. What free time he had by himself was spent napping, practicing the art of cooking German recipes, surfing the web on his phone, or mindless television.

To be honest, Shinji wasn't even sure why he even bothered to get out his laptop. He had some sort of nagging feeling that he was supposed to be doing something, but he couldn't quite remember at the moment, so he thought nothing of it. Still, there was nothing else to do right now, so what the hell, huh? As Shinji turned on his computer, it was then that the thought dawned on him.

Just when was he going to leave? What would happen if he left Asuka now? After what they had confessed to each other, and after what they had done for each other?

Shinji's heart sank. He may had been subconsciously trying to tell himself something. After all, there _had _to be a reason why there was that biting feeling present. Perhaps the true reason was that deep down, maybe all this time, Shinji knew that he was never meant to be with Asuka, but he ignored this feeling simply because he wanted her. He needed her. He lusted for her. And yet…

…He loved her.

But he couldn't just decide to live with Asuka. After all, he had his own home back in Japan. His own life. His own friends. Shinji was stuck between two worlds now. He had dug this hole for himself when he confessed his love. He had dug his own hole when he forged the unbreakable bond between him and Asuka.

As he stared at his laptop wallpaper, the peaceful image of the horizon mocking him, he slowly began hovering his hand over the mouse-pad, pondering about whether or not he should order plane tickets to fly back home. After all, he had been here long enough. He was never one to be on vacation for very long. Perhaps he had outstayed his welcome?

No, no. That can't be. In fact, Shinji felt more welcome with Asuka than before, now that their hidden feelings had finally been exposed. He felt…safer in a way. He felt that he could now safely run into Asuka's arms, and not worry about a single thing, like a child running to a mother.

But at the same time, Asuka scared him. Or rather, he was scared of himself. It was hard to describe. Even Shinji couldn't exactly describe what he was feeling. Perhaps he believed he was afraid of Asuka because he was simply afraid of being rejected by her, when it actually seemed like he was the more likely one who would be doing the dumping.

Shinji's body had gone into auto-pilot, and his fingers danced around on the mouse-pad, opening the internet browser, even though his mind was still debating upon whether or not he should go ahead and order the plane tickets. He didn't even know how to remind Asuka that he was only here on temporary vacation, dammit!

Well, knowing how intelligent Asuka is, she would have known the consequences of doing what she did with him, right? She knew the risks, but…no, dammit! She was drunk!

…She did act oddly sober after a while though. _No one _could be under the influence of alcohol AND be that good in bed…all that control, all that steadiness—_Right, moving on, moving on._

Maybe he should just order plane tickets for Japan and then think about what to say to Asuka. After all, with his body sorta stuck in autopilot, Shinji was on the airlines website before he knew it, so he might as well, right? As he moved the cursor around, he started to think about the date he should return.

This autopilot thing was starting to become something of a problem. He was doing it more and more often as time passed by. Even Shinji found that he couldn't snap himself out of it sometimes. From what he knew, or at least inferred, autopiloting was apparently a defense mechanism for something, but _what_? His little quirk had emerged sometime after Third Impact, of course. Maybe it was after Asuka left? Who knows? Shinji couldn't remember the first time it happened. It just sorta…happened.

As Shinji, after several minutes (which actually felt like several seconds to him) of intense thinking, he reluctantly settled on December 11th, confident that he would have an excuse to leave by then.

Wait, confident? Him? Ha.

Hmm, maybe Shinji could convince Asuka to come with him? If not to live with him, then perhaps for a vacation of her own? With all this money that she had, it was easy to imagine that her job was a tiring and important one, so she—

"Whatcha up to, Shinji?" A sudden voice asked behind him.

Jumping a bit, Shinji closed the internet browser and looked back, surprised to see Asuka there. "A-Asuka? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I got bored, so I'm playing hooky," she said with a small grin.

"B-But you've only been gone for a few minutes!" Shinji said, recovering from his mini-heart attack.

Raising an eyebrow, Asuka smirked in amusement, leaned over, and pointed at the clock in the corner of the laptop screen, which read 12:30 PM, causing Shinji to blink. How exactly did thinking, watching a little bit of TV, more thinking, and getting out his laptop take _that _long? Did he really blank out that much?

Having to rely once more on Asuka waking him back to reality, he blinked and moved back a bit in surprise when the redheaded beauty flicked his nose. "You really are an idiot, Baka-Shinji," she said with a sweet smile.

"I can't help it," he said, scratching his head a bit.

Chuckling a bit, Asuka leaned against the couch and wrapped her arms around Shinji, her face right next to his. "Right. Anyway, I'll repeat myself just for you; whatcha up to?"

"Err…nothing."

"You rather quickly closed the browser. Are you hiding something from me?" She asked nosily.

"N-No, I was just…err…"

"You were what? Doing something nasty and perverted? Am I not enough for you?" She asked teasingly.

"Asuka, what? No! I was…looking at shipping."

"Shipping?" She asked with her wide-eyed curiosity.

"Yeah, I _do _work at a nice restaurant back home, y'know. I usually tend to help with the shipping for fresh ingredients," he said, partly lying and partly telling the truth with that statement.

Asuka frowned at Shinji's answer, notably the part where he said "back home." It reminded her that Shinji had his own life. He didn't just spring up into Asuka's life on purpose. This was all an accident. Just to think if she was paying attention to where she was walking on that fateful night, she wouldn't be talking to her old friend. The manchild she couldn't help but love.

Dammit.

"Huh, I see…" she simply said.

"M-Maybe one day, you could come by and give the restaurant a visit?" He asked bravely, hoping not to somehow aggravate her.

"Hmph! As if!" Asuka exclaimed, letting go of Shinji and leaning away from the couch, returning to what some may say as the closest to normal she may be, "I've had enough Japanese food for a lifetime!"

"But you've only had about several months' worth of Japanese food, while some people have had nothing _but _Japanese food their entire lives, y'know!"

"Maybe night after night of ramen and other microwave meals isn't my thing!"

"You shouldn't judge solely on your experiences at Misato's—you know what, never mind!" Shinji said, giving up with Asuka once again, "So anyway, is there any particularly reason why you decided to play hooky?" He sighed.

"Because I just wanna spend some time with you, that's all," she remarked with a really uncharacteristic and possibly exaggerated "sweet" tone.

"Oh yeah?" He replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Yep, so take me out somewhere fun! Where do you wanna go, Shin-chan?"

"Please don't call me Shin-chan. I'm not sure it fits me anymore…assuming it even fit me to begin with," he muttered, "Anyway, I don't know…let's go for a walk?"

Asuka was about to protest the first part of what Shinji said, believing the nickname was appropriate for him, and still is, but decided to drop it. "A walk? Are you stupid, Baka-Shinji? You _just _got my car yesterday! Why should we walk if we can just drive?!"

"Because I think walking is…fun, in a sense. Maybe we could go to the park…and then after that, grab some lunch?" He suggested meekly.

Crossing her arms, Asuka frowned again. "I remember you being this boring, Baka-Shinji," she started, before smiling and patting his head, "But I suppose that's part of the reason why I like you so much."

"I never did find out the other reason…or reasons."

"Can't you let a girl keep her secrets? Anyway, the walk and the lunch better be worth skipping work over, or else!"

* * *

12:55 PM. Nice time to pick a walk, really. The sun was up, the birds were around, and the park was beautiful, pristine at times, one might say. Sadly though, Shinji's idea of peace was different from Asuka's idea of peace, it seemed. While Shinji associated peace with "solitude" and "quiet," Asuka apparently associated with something else.

Then again, she may had been in a bad mood because she was bothered by the outdoor nature smell of dog waste and the buzzing of the bees everywhere. And Asuka did _not _like bees. Not one bit. She wasn't exactly keen on walking either. It was a shame her car wasn't gone for longer, because maybe she really did have a chance at getting used to it and liking the fresh air and exercise.

Maybe.

"Nngh, I'm tired, Shinji!" The woman complained, "Can't we just sit down at a bench or something?!"

"Alright, alright! Sheesh, we'll take a break at the next bench we pass by!" said Shinji, raising an eyebrow at his girlfriend.

"I just hope it won't take too long. My feet are killing me!" Asuka whined, crossing her arms as she hesitantly continued to walk.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, walking? No!" Asuka said, holding back a laugh, "I really don't understand why people would just walk when they could easily drive!"

"Well, maybe it's because they enjoy the fresh breeze…or maybe they just want to exercise."

"Hmph! Fresh breeze my foot! I swear, I smell more feces than fresh air! And if I was so insecure about my figure that I'd want to exercise, I'd do something other than just walking! I'd rather do something else like…like jogging or something!"

"Then why don't you go jog with me?" Shinji said, resisting the urge to point out that she _did _seem insecure about her figure, considering she slapped him before he even got a chance to utter the word "fat."

"Are you for real?!" She exclaimed, "These shoes were not made for jogging, ya hear me?!"

"Agh, you women and your damn shoes," he said, partly with amusement and partly with irritation.

"Anyway, where's the next bench, dammit?! I hope I didn't miss one while talking to you! Jesus, I don't know how much more I can take!"

"Weren't you the one who was more physically fit than me back when we were kids?" Shinji asked.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, remember when we first met at that arcade? I remember seeing you doing a bunch of fancy flips and managed to beat up an entire gang," Shinji said, recollecting his first encounter with her.

However, Asuka raised an eyebrow, puzzled. "What? No, we first met on a boat! Over The Rainbow was the name! I remember because the wind got a little excited and showed you and your stooge friends what was under the sundress, so as a viewing fee, I had to slap all three of you!"

"Wait, what? Are you sure you're not talking about something else? The viewing fee was 10 yen for each of us!"

"What are you talking about?! Don't you at least remember fighting that one Angel with me? What was it, Gaghiel? The fish one!"

Realizing that they were already getting off-track, Shinji shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Anyway, if you're so tired, at least let me help you," he offered.

"And how exactly, Baka-Shinji, are you going to help me? I am _not _letting you carry me!"

"Are you sure about that?" He asked with a mischievous smirk.

Blinking, Asuka took a step away from Shinji. "Get away from me, creep!"

Shinji couldn't help but chuckle in amusement before doing one of the boldest things in his life. Dashing behind Asuka swiftly, he swept her off her feet, and before she knew it, the fiery woman found herself being held in Shinji's arms. She _never _would have expected to be in this position in all of her years. Registering what had just happened, Asuka fiercely blushed and gritted her teeth, beating her fists against the man's chest.

"Let go of me, you idiot!" She shouted. Fortunately for Shinji (and unfortunately for Asuka), no one was around to see what was going on. Asuka's attempts at resisting were ultimately at vain, and Shinji suddenly took off, running along the trail the park had laid out for him.

"Don't worry! Just relax, I'm taking you to the nearest bench in the fastest way I can, okay?"

"Let go of me, dammit! I can still walk! I don't need you carrying me like I'm some sort of damsel in distress! I…I'm better than this!" She said, her face growing as red as the Evangelion she once piloted as a teenager.

* * *

"Oh god, what a rush. Wasn't that fun?" Shinji laughed, panting as he sat on a bench he finally found, glancing at Asuka who was sitting next to him. She was crossing her arms and was apparently not speaking to him, looking away to hide her blush. "C'mon, you gotta admit you liked it!"

"I never expected you to do anything like that," Asuka told him, finally bringing herself to look at him, "You're definitely not the same wimp from all those years ago, that's for sure," she said, managing a small smile.

"Well, eventually I just learned that to get by in this world, you gotta have a good balance of flippancy and seriousness," he replied, scooting closer to Asuka and laying his head on her shoulder, "This was fun for me, at least. Thanks for coming along with me," he said with a smile.

"Hmph! It's not like I had a choice! You really just dragged me here!" She pouted.

"Oh? You were the one who decided to skip work because you expected me to do something exciting for you. And besides, you should've known I'm really more of an indoors kind of person."

"Maybe," she said, "And could you get your head off of my shoulder? This really is embarrassing…" she muttered.

"Oh…right," he said, lifting his head up, but still sitting close to Asuka.

The two of them sat there briefly in silence, letting Shinji think over what he was going to do. He frowned deeply, believing he still could just run away from his problems and seek the temporary comfort of ignorance. But he couldn't bring himself to break Asuka's heart. She had suffered enough in her life with him, and all he wanted was to be with her.

Long-distance relationships don't exactly work out in the end, do they?

Sighing loudly, Asuka stood up, stretching. "Alright, I'm ready for lunch. Let's get out of here."

"Right," he nodded, before standing up as well.

Not trusting Shinji, Asuka stepped away from Shinji and made sure not to turn her back on him. For all she knew, he could be planning a devious joke to pick her up and hold her again!

…And yet somehow, this still failed to stop Shinji from indeed grabbing Asuka and hoisting her up into her arms. She began with a surprised "What do you think you're doing?!" before continuing with an "Eeeek!" as Shinji began running.

* * *

"So err…where should we eat?" Shinji asked, rubbing his slap wound as he walked next to Asuka, who was now prepared for anything the devious man was going to cook up. Well, to be honest, there were two reasons why Shinji eventually let go of Asuka. One being that he was slapped, of course. The other being that they were starting to enter a populated area.

As the two walked the streets of Germany, Asuka began thinking. "Hmm…I'm not in the mood for anything new or fancy. Let's just go to the restaurant I took you to earlier, alright?"

Shinji nodded. "Okay, sounds good to me."

As Shinji and Asuka continued walking together, the man inched closer to his lover, attempting to hold her hand. However, the sudden contact made Asuka pull away.

"I'm not holding your hand. Got it?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"Oh come on. We _are _together. Shouldn't it be fine?"

"I—" Asuka began, before having her hand suddenly taken by Shinji's. _I swear, today must be his confident lucky day or something. He's doing all this and I'm just letting him get away with all of it._

So instead of pulling away in disgust, complaining, and making a scene, Asuka surrendered to Shinji, which was odd, considering it was usually the other way around.

"Hmph. You know what, Shinji? I love you, you idiot. You're _my _idiot," she said with a smile as she looked at him.

"Thanks, I think," Shinji responded, raising an eyebrow, as he was pondering on whether he should be glad that Asuka admitted she loved him, or dismayed that he was still being insulted, "And I love you too. You're my…err, fiery…girl."

Asuka couldn't help but laugh. "I'm content with being your so-called girl as long as you're still my idiot."

The two lovebirds walked the streets, though one of them was carrying a heavy heart. A nervous one that was preparing for the worst.

* * *

12:14 AM.

Shinji found that he couldn't sleep, so he snuck out of Asuka's bed and lumbered into the living room, turning on his laptop. While waiting for it to activate, Shinji went ahead and helped himself to a glass of water. He also turned on a nearby lamp, but was very subtle, having forgotten whether or not Asuka was a light or heavy sleeper.

Opening his internet browser and clicking on the "Recently closed" space, he reopened the tab to the airlines website and stared at the screen, loading up the page. Sipping his water silently, Shinji sighed softly. He couldn't sleep, so why was he here? Why didn't he just go look around for sleeping pills and be done like that?

He could have easily pushed back this issue of coming back home until later, but knowing Asuka, it probably wouldn't matter if he told her he had to return in two days or twenty days, did it? After all, it seemed that she had forgotten why he was here. Even if he wanted to, he certainly wasn't going to live with Asuka. What would he say to the people he knew? Something like "Oh, sorry. I won't see you guys ever again. I met an old friend who I just started dating and I love her so much that I'm staying with her. Bye." might not cut it.

He had a life back in Japan. He had friends, a job, an apartment, an old piano, and an even older cello waiting for him back home.

"Shinji? What are you doing up so late?" came a familiar voice from behind. As the man looked back, he saw Asuka in her nightgown, rubbing her eyes.

Lowering his laptop screen, he sipped his water again calmly. "Oh. Sorry, Asuka. Did I wake you up?"

She shook her head. "No, not really. I just sorta noticed I was grabbing onto the bed instead of you and that's when I got up."

"Sorry, I can't sleep."

"Stop apologizing," she said tiredly with a small smile, "It's not your fault. We all have our sleepless nights, right?"

Shinji was always surprised when Asuka showed empathy, and this was no exception. Still, he smiled back at her and nodded. "Right."

"Alright. Please, come back to bed. I'm not rubbing your back or singing you a lullaby, but I'm sure my bed is more comfortable than the couch," she said, walking over to Shinji and giving him a kiss on the cheek, the man having already closed his laptop before Asuka could see.

"I'll be right there, love," he whispered gently, "Just give me a minute, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you, then," she whispered back, before walking back into her room, leaving the door open for Shinji.

As Asuka left, Shinji leaned back and sighed. Taking his laptop and putting it into his lap, he reopened it and stared at the screen some more, before making a decision.

* * *

**A/N: Hooray for anime/manga disagreements about how Shinji and Asuka met! Oh, right. I'm supposed to be talking about what it was like writing this, what you should expect later, and concluding with me begging for reviews, which I really do need to motivate me to write further! To be honest, I'm a little bit uneasy about the next chapter, considering I've got the basic jist of the plot planned out, but not the little details. After the next chapter though, the last two posts I make for this **_**should **_**be all fine and dandy, and I intend to end this by the end of May or so. Until then, see ya!**


	7. So I Must Let Us Break Free

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 7: So I Must Let Us Break Free  
**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Evangelion. I'm just a fan writing something based on something I love.  
A/N: I think I made a mistake when I said that Shinji first met Kaworu in the manga after Bardiel, as after some research, Kaworu first appeared in Volume 9, after Zeruel. Anyway, here we are. We're almost at the end of the line. This chapter was originally supposed to be two chapters because I believed it would've been too long as one chapter, but then I just decided "Well, what exactly is too long?" and decided that I **_**could **_**fit this into one. So without further ado, I present to you this chapter.**

* * *

_And I love you too, you idiot._

* * *

Day 6 – December 10th, 2030

_Have you ever wondered what it's like to be in Purgatory? What it's like to be floating in Limbo? Simply existing in nothingness? Asuka wasn't exactly religious, but if there was an afterlife and she was sent to Purgatory after dying, she imagined it'd be something like this. Of course, she had died before, but when she had died all those years ago, she had been immediately transported to Instrumentality. The merging of all human souls._

_This odd place that Asuka had decided to label as "Purgatory" for now was quiet. Lonely. No laws of physics seemed to apply here. One second, it felt like the redhead was floating in mid-air. She could feel no ground to support her weight. In the next second, she then sat up, as if some sort of surface had manifested to indeed support her._

_As she looked around to examine the area, she found nothing. After all, there was nothing to examine. Only nothingness. Blankness. Loneliness. As Asuka also found that something felt different about her, she examined herself and was surprised to see a familiar sight. But a sight she wished she'd never see again._

_She was dressed in her old plugsuit from when she was a pilot. Those were the days. Though she hated the days of being a pilot, she also cherished the memories as well. They made her into the woman she was now. If not for her piloting, she would never have met Shinji or Misato, two of the three people who were most important to her. The first being her mother, of course._

_And yet, she hated those days because of the pain. The physical pain of facing the Angels and dying at the hands of the Mass Production Evas. The mental pain of encountering the entity known as Arael and the perceived rejection at the hands of Shinji Ikari, the Third Child._

_Staring at her body, it turned out her situation was quite similar to that fateful day on the beach after she had rejected Instrumentality and returned to the world of pain and sadness. Not only was she dressed in her crimson plugsuit, she also sported familiar bandages on her arm and eye._

_The main difference was that she was totally alone. Shinji was not there with her._

"_Are you happy?" A strange voice asked. Alarmed, Asuka blinked and looked around, only to find that no one was around. She was still alone._

"_Who's there?!" Asuka yelled out, attempting to stand up, but finding that these bandages were present for more than just decoration. It seemed that somehow, she was still wounded from her final fight. Her wounds hurt like hell, but that was the last thing on her mind. Just what the heck was going on?_

_There was no response. Only silence. And then another voice asked another question. "What are dreams?" It asked. It was Shinji's voice!_

"_Shinji?! Where are you?!" She shouted at the nothingness surrounding her, though again, there was nothing._

"_The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth." An unknown voice stated. After that, whispers began manifesting everywhere. Some audible. Some incomprehensible. Some hurtful; You don't understand anything. You just stay away from me. Some graceful; I want to stay with you, and I want to be with you. Some familiar. Some foreign._

"_What is this? Stop this!" Asuka bellowed, growing more afraid by the second, not understanding what was happening. And then she heard her own voice. She herself didn't say it. She simply heard it among the whispers and the voices everywhere._

_If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want anything from you!_

"_No! Stop this! This isn't me!" She yelled at the voices, though they would not stop tormenting her. They just kept coming. Funny to think that in just a matter of seconds, Asuka had transitioned from her normal state of mind, as normal as she could be anyway, to a state of absolute fear. Horror._

_Just like Instrumentality, she realized. Was she back in Instrumentality?_

_The voices became louder and harsher. How disgusting, one said. Don't come near me; all you ever do is hurt me, another said. Please help me! Don't abandon me! Please don't kill me, another pleaded._

_Why are you there?! You won't do anything! You won't help me! You won't even hold me!_

"_I love you."_

_And with that proclamation of love, the voices had stopped as suddenly as they had come. Asuka sat down, hugging her legs and looking down, hiding herself from nothing._

* * *

Asuka Langley Sohryu was once again awakened by the sounds and smells of Shinji's early cooking. Instinctively, Asuka looked at the clock and saw that the time was roughly 6:30 AM. She was a bit grateful that Shinji woke her up when he did, seeing as how the dream was quite less than pleasant.

The woman was glad she could never remember her dreams for long. If she was lucky, she'd completely forget all about this in no time! As the redheaded German stared at her ceiling, she began thinking about Shinji.

If he was up this early again, perhaps he was still troubled about something, Asuka mused. After some quick stretching, the woman got out of her bed and made her way into the kitchen, yawning. "Morning, Baka-Shinji," she said, greeting the man, who turned around and looked at her, nodding.

"Good morning, Asuka. Did you sleep well?" He asked, turning his head back to the food he was cooking.

She nodded, rubbing her eyes as she walked over and quickly kissed Shinji on the cheek. "I did. But I'm guessing you didn't?"

"That's why I'm cooking," he confirmed.

"Was it something to do with last night?" Asuka said, stepping back and making a hypothesis.

Shinji briefly froze, before proceeding to continue cooking. He nodded simply, pursing his lips. "Yeah. Err…we need to talk soon, okay? It's sorta…important."

"Ooh, I'm a bit worried now," she said somewhat playfully, though in actuality a bit more worried than she'd like to admit. As she sat down at the dining table, she was met by Shinji a few minutes later, who set down the plates and utensils as usual. "So what is it you want to talk to me about?" She asked as he sat down.

Shinji simply sat there, trying to find the appropriate words while also trying not to make Asuka angry. Of course, making her angry seemed inevitable, so perhaps a better option would be "try not to piss her off as best as you can." In Shinji's mind, the best case scenario would be that she wouldn't care, which is also somewhat depressing in its own right. Worst case scenario she kicks him out and vows to never speak to him again.

Things weren't looking good, were they?

"Err…well, you see…" Shinji began. He believed he had thought things through, but now that he was here, it felt like his thinking was for naught. He knew he couldn't lie to Asuka. Her flaming eyes would melt him with her magical heat vision before he'd be able to tell a believable lie to her, "I…I care for you a lot. I love you, Asuka. You know that, right?"

Asuka never thought Shinji would be able to make her feel uneasy. At least, not like this. She nodded, frowning a bit. "Yes. What is this about?" She asked, trying to get to the point. Just what was going on now?

"I…" Shinji sighed, standing up and turning around, leaning against the table. He refused to make eye contact with her, it seemed. He wouldn't be able to look her in the eye for a while, would he? "I…umm, well, you see…" He stammered and stuttered in an attempt to find the right words.

Asuka frowned, beginning to mentally take guesses at what Shinji is intending to say. What was he trying to do? Did he do something bad? Did this have something to do with his dream?

"Say, Asuka, would you like to…come to Japan with me?" He asked nervously, "You don't have to stay with me there. It can just be like you're taking a vacation at my home, like how I…I'm on vacation with you," he said slowly, "I-It's okay if you refuse. I'll understand."

"Shinji…" she whispered, looking at him, "…You have to come back home, don't you?" She said. In the back of her head, she wanted him. No, she needed him, even. But what would that say about her if she refused to let Shinji live his own life? Would it prove to her that she hadn't changed? That even after all this time, it turned out that she just wanted to possess and own Shinji? After all, during Instrumentality, she said some of the cruelest things to him.

_If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want anything from you! _A voice yelled in Asuka's mind. It was her voice. She remembered it from her dream, and by extension, she remembered it from Instrumentality. The need to take Shinji…it was…

"Yes, I do," Shinji said rather dejectedly, looking down. "I'm sorry, it's just that…well…" He began, but finding that he had no excuse.

Asuka frowned deeply, looking at Shinji. She saw this coming, but in every scenario she played in her head where she predicted Shinji would drop the news to her, Asuka never actually thought how she'd react to him. She was busier trying to predict how the actual events would unfold. Most ending with the idiot running away for some odd reason.

A small silence filled the air, save for the sound of Shinji's heartbeat. Needless to say, he was afraid. Would Asuka reject him while believing that leaving was a sign of _him _rejecting _her_? Would she hate him for the rest of his life? That would devastate him. After all, Asuka was one of the first people Shinji Ikari came to truly care for. But then, it seemed that everyone who came close to Shinji went away, died, disappeared…

He couldn't afford to lose Asuka. Not again.

_Please, please, please, _Shinji pleaded to no one in particular, _Please don't hate me. I'm not running away, I swear it! _He tried to assure himself, but seemingly failing to do so, _I just…I need to go home._

_I want to stay with you, Asuka, and I want to be with you, _a voice whispered in Shinji's head. He suppressed a gasp as he remembered what he had said during the event that had triggered Third Impact. The event where he choked Asuka. He remembered that well. Instrumentality wiped away all of the truth and lies and reset everything. He really did want to be with Asuka then. And he still did now, but home…

Home was where he belonged. Shouldn't that be good enough?

"I'm sorry, I…I can't go with you," the German woman said tensely, looking at Shinji with sad eyes, "My work is important to me. This place…is my home. I can't leave it," she continued, putting her hand on the table. She knew that deep down, she could never go home with Shinji. Not even for a so-called vacation. She would probably be overwhelmed by the temptation of staying and…

Shinji nodded understandingly, but was visibly saddened. Turning around and laying a hand on Asuka's, he looked into her deep blue eyes and saw sincere sadness. She was probably seeing the same thing as well. But did Asuka understand him? Did she understand why he had to leave?

_Who am I kidding? _Shinji mentally sighed, _I can't even understand why I'm leaving. Am I really just that afraid? And if I am…what exactly am I afraid of? Am I afraid of myself? Asuka? Or maybe I'm just scared of being in a relationship? Am I still scared of letting others get close to me? I really am still just a kid…_

"When are you leaving?" She asked softly, gently placing her other hand on his, which in turn was still over her first hand. Shinji was like a victim to Asuka's touch. He stiffened a bit when she touched him. It seemed that the man was fine when _he_ touched _her_, but seemed to be reluctant to receive contact. Still, he enjoyed and loathed the touch of his lover. It reminded him how much she cared for him, and yet…it also reminded him of that day on the beach.

"…Tomorrow morning," he said, looking away once more. This situation seemed to be getting harder and harder for him as the minute passed. But then, how could he be so self-centered? _Imagine how Asuka's feeling! Do you really want to do this?! _He mentally scolded himself, though not doing anything about it. It seemed that a little while ago, Shinji had convinced himself that it was too late to back out now.

"…Oh. Okay," she replied. Asuka was having her own mental fight. She was trying to figure out what to do about this. She couldn't win, could she? If she demanded that he stay with her, she would come off as possessive and demanding. Just like she was when she was 14. It would prove that she hasn't changed. But she really did want Shinji. She needed him.

But did she? Asuka was never one to believe in predetermination, she wasn't naïve like that, but maybe Shinji came back into her life to remind her that the girl who she once was and the woman she was now are two different people. Was this all a test?

"I…I'm sorry," Shinji said truthfully, before withdrawing his hand. He was afraid that staying with Asuka would have been selfish of him, but now that he thought about it, leaving her was also selfish, wasn't it? He couldn't win. But even after all this time, even after all he had given, he deserved to be selfish, didn't he? Just for once. Just this once.

If he decided to stay with Asuka, he would be leaving the friends he had in Japan behind. If he left Asuka, would the woman he loved call him out on his behavior? _I wonder what she's thinking about, _Shinji pondered idly, _She must think I'm a big jerk. She's probably calling me an idiot in her head like she always does._

"I wish I could bring you with me," he continued.

"And I wish I could come with you," Asuka replied, "But I can't. You know this."

Shinji nodded, "I do know. I still have to leave though," he sighed, "But I still want us to be together. If…" he swallowed, "If things don't work out between us, I want us to still be friends. I don't want to lose you. I…" He said, before stopping. There was no point in continuing, was there?

"Shinji…" was all Asuka could utter. For once, the great and almighty Asuka Langley Sohryu was at a loss of words. She didn't know what to say. _Was _there anything to say anyway?

The young man closed his eyes briefly, as if to push away all the pain that was soon to come, but he mustn't run away. He mustn't run away. Reopening his eyes and looking at Asuka right in the eyes, he did one thing that truly surprised her.

He smiled.

"Let's dance together. Like we did when we were 14. Remember, Asuka? Do you remember when we danced?" Shinji asked, a tear rolling down his cheek as he fondly remembered the days of his youth, "We thought it was hell back then, but…looking back, I want to hold you. Please, just one more time."

Asuka nodded. She did remember when they danced. When they had "synchronized" to defeat the enigmatic twin Angels that made up the entity Israfel. They danced together, held together, ate together, and even slept together…though not in the way they slept together _now._ Complying, Asuka rose from her seat and took Shinji's hand. "I hope you've gotten better at dancing," she smiled sadly.

"The last time I danced with a girl like this, I kept on accidentally stepping on her shoes and making her trip," he commented, trying to lighten up the mood as he wrapped his arm around Asuka.

"And how long ago was this?" She asked.

"Oh…a year? Two years? I don't remember," he said, still holding onto his smile as he led Asuka into an area with more space to dance.

"Agh, then I have to hold your hand through everything, don't I?" Asuka asked, a tad annoyed.

"Literally or metaphorically?" Shinji asked jokingly.

"Both."

Shinji couldn't help but laugh lightly. And in return, Asuka couldn't help but laugh warmly.

* * *

Day 7 – December 11th, 2030

Asuka woke up in the morning not to the sound and smell of cooking, but rather, her alarm. Her eyes still closed, Asuka shot her arm out and smacked the annoying machine, silencing it. Assuming that Shinji was still sleeping, or at least just waking up due to the alarm, she scooted over closer and attempted to wrap her arm around him…

…only to realize that there was nothing. Opening her eyes, Asuka was surprised to see that her bed was empty. Sitting up, she looked at the empty spot, before scanning the room to see if Shinji was around. Remembering what had transpired the day before, Asuka sighed. _He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, would he? _She thought as she slowly got out of the bed.

"Shinji?" She called out, though there was no response. Frowning, she began walking out of her room, looking around the house for Shinji. As she made her way into the kitchen, hoping that the chef somehow managed to cover up the scent of the breakfast he was making, she was greatly disappointed to see that he was not there. Asuka could not find him.

However, what she _did _find was a curious piece of paper on the counter. _Hmm? What's this? _She thought as she raised an eyebrow and picked up the note, before quickly shaking as she realized it was written by Shinji.

_Dear Asuka,_

_ I had an amazing time with you. I truly did. I'm grateful we managed to see each other again. I'm grateful that we got to talk again. It was nice. Actually, to say that I was just happy to see you again is a great understatement. I felt like I had another chance. Another chance to say all the things I always wanted to say to you. Another chance to do all the things I wanted to do with you. And I'm so very glad that I got to spend time with you again. It put a lot of things at rest. Finding out that you didn't hate me after all the years that had passed, remembering how much you meant to me, discovering how you cared for me, and realizing how much we had changed over the past years. There's so much more that I want to say, but I don't want to start rambling. Plus, I wouldn't be able to fit it all onto this piece of paper. Anyway, I left without personally saying goodbye because I wanted to get this over with. I didn't want any objections because I don't exactly want to leave either. I was conflicted, I was scared; I was whatever you want to call me. I guess you might say I'm still the stupid brat I was back in 2015, and for that, I'm sorry. I guess that if I haven't really grown up after all these years, maybe you deserve someone better than me. If you do still want to remain in touch however, I'd be delighted. My address is on the back in case you want to send me a letter or something. Goodbye, Asuka. I love you._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Your Baka-Shinji_

Goddammit, Shinji. Goddammit, Shinji! Asuka covered her face with her hands and began sobbing quietly. If only there was more time to spend with him. One week wasn't nearly enough time to make up for the time they had been separated.

Needless to say, Asuka was devastated that Shinji had left without a personal goodbye, and instead leaving a cowardly note. All sorts of emotions swarmed throughout Asuka's head, like betrayal, sadness, anger, despair, and other negativity. However, perhaps the most powerful emotion was yearning. She already dearly missed Shinji.

But she just couldn't leave work. She couldn't! Could she?

* * *

Home sweet home. It really didn't feel all that sweet to Shinji. After spending just about a week in Germany at Asuka's house, it was odd to find that his own apartment was foreign to him. He was taken aback at how it was smaller than he remembered, how he realized everything was so cramped compared to Asuka's house, which was beautifully decorated.

It was late, but the Asian man found that he couldn't go to sleep. At least, not yet. He was tired, but not tired enough, it seemed, so with a loud sigh, he practically crashed onto his own couch. It certainly wasn't as comfortable as Asuka's couch, but it was still _his _couch. Dammit, it seemed like everything was reminding him of Asuka.

_Next thing I know, I'll probably end up taking down everything that's red, _Shinji bitterly joked in his mind. Leaning back, he began thinking of how much of a jerk he probably was. He began thinking of how much Asuka might be steamed at him right now. But that's okay, right? He could live with someone hating him. After all, he just about lived his whole life hating himself, the recent years having him repress his self-hatred in a way and making it less obvious, even to himself.

And he could live with people hating him, right? He was used to it, right?

_Calm down, _Shinji told himself. There was no way to undo what he did anyway. He always had a problem with replaying the past instead of living in the present, but he couldn't help it. His past has haunted him for a long time and it probably will for the rest of his life, seeing as how he lacked the will and courage to put his demons to rest.

Standing up, Shinji made his way into his room. Whenever he was stressed like this, he found that playing the cello or the piano would calm him down, and though it seemed to him like it wouldn't put his mind at ease, it was still worth a try. He didn't play the cello often, so he forgot several of the songs he knew as a teenager, and mostly played the more advanced songs he knew.

His bedroom was relatively simple. On the left, there was a window and a bed. There was a nightstand next to the bed and a door leading to the restroom on the right. In the corner of his room, several inches away from the bed, there was Shinji's cello in front of a chair. As Shinji walked over and sat down onto the chair, he rather quickly played the instrument, playing the first song that came into mind.

Bach's Suite No. 1. G Major. BWV1007.

In the rare occurrence that people listened to his cello playing, they would applaud and compliment his skills, to which Shinji would usually reply with an "Oh, it's no big deal" or something of the sort. It wasn't exactly a beginner piece, far from it actually, but Bach's Suite was a tune that brought Shinji comfort and pain at the same time. The soothing melody calmed him, and yet, the fact that he had known how to play this song since before he was 14 brought back a few unpleasant memories, like say, his actual "first kiss" with Asuka.

And with the thought of Asuka invading his mind, Shinji came to an instant stop rather quickly. Sighing a bit in a mix of frustration and regret, Shinji decided to just go to bed. It shouldn't be all that bad, right? He deduced that if playing the cello wasn't doing anything for him, then perhaps the piano wouldn't do anything either. After all, he only learned the piano in memoriam of a certain Kaworu Nagisa.

It worked both ways. Sometimes when Shinji would play the piano, he would think of Kaworu, state to the heavens that he would dedicate his song(s) to the silver-haired boy he once knew, and start playing. Other times, it would bring back horrible memories, and Shinji would completely avoid the piano for a long time. Music was a hit or miss for the young man. Sometimes, it would ease his pain, and sometimes, it would amplify his state of anxiety.

Tonight was a night where music amplified his anxiety.

He was _not _going to have a good night's sleep.

* * *

The days passed by uneventfully for the two former pilots. Claiming to be sick, Asuka had called work and asked for a day off. Of course, she didn't do this without raising a few eyebrows, as when word spread that the feared "Red Devil" of the office was absent because of a mere fever, at least one person suspected something was wrong. Asuka was known for not letting sickness take her down and prevent her from working. One may say that she was just very dedicated to her work, or perhaps she didn't want her pride to be hurt by having to stay home from a mere cold or so.

Unlike Asuka, Shinji continued working rather quickly, believing that work would distract him and divert his thoughts. It didn't go well. In fact, despite the fact that business was now majestically better now, the rude customers and strong scent of stews could not get Asuka out of Shinji's thoughts. Maybe he was better off calling in sick.

"Hey, Shinji, you okay?" A co-worker asked, snapping the man out of his thoughts.

"Uhh, yeah, yeah," Shinji replied, blinking as he adjusted to living in the present again, "Just a bit…err, tired."

"You made yourself a cup of coffee like, fifteen minutes ago or so," the co-worker responded, raising an eyebrow in concern as he crossed his arms, "Are you feeling alright? You're not usually one to just sit there, y'know. Not when everyone else is actually doing something, at least."

"Sorry," Shinji apologized, getting up from the chair he was sitting in and getting a look at his co-worker. He had short ebony hair and brown eyes, a nametag that said "Daisuke," and a naïve expression on his face. Shinji scratched the back of his head, looking straight at him, "I err…was just thinking of something."

"Did something happen during the vacation?" The co-worker asked nosily, "You've been back for three days, and each day since you've came back, you either seem distracted, tired, or motionless."

Shinji pursed his lips mildly, before shrugging. "It's…a long story," he sighed tiredly, "What time is it?"

"2:45."

"Oh, good," Shinji murmured, "It's gonna be a small while until I get home."

The co-worker named Daisuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and looked at Shinji. "Go home, Shinji. I'll cover for you. You don't seem very well."

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked in surprise, "I'm fine! I just…y'know, got some things on my mind, but they can wait."

All Daisuke had to do was smile with an expression of "Are you for real?" hidden somewhere, and Shinji sighed in defeat. He was never good at lying. Not to Asuka, and perhaps not to anyone.

"Alright, alright, fine. I'll go home. Are you sure about this?" Shinji finally said, rubbing his face in a vain attempt to clear his head.

The co-worker nodded. "Yeah! Besides, I owe you one, remember?"

Shinji shook his head but turned around and began to walk away anyway. "No, not really, but I'll just take your word for it. You got me covered?"

"Yeah, I gotcha. Take the day off, man."

Nodding, Shinji discreetly dashed out of the restaurant, finding that he had to rely on another person to bail him out. Of course, maybe this wasn't the best thing to do anyway. It was almost like he was running away again.

* * *

Asuka sat home after a long day of trying to forget about Shinji. On the fifth day after Shinji left, Asuka had tried to put this all behind her and forget about him. After all, his letter was right! She deserved better than a coward like Shinji! What Asuka needed was a _real _man! It was times like these that she truly missed the dashing Ryoji Kaji from her childhood. _He _would have never left her! _He _was a true man! Full of confidence and smoothness, as well as the perfect face and laid-back personality! Asuka needed a man like him!

So why was she still thinking about Shinji?

The redhead frowned as thoughts of him swirled around in her head. Sitting alone at the dining table, she couldn't bring herself to forget Shinji. The fool had made such a deep impact in her life that it was just about impossible to forget about him completely, wasn't it? The letter Shinji left in the kitchen was still where it was, Asuka never bothering to take it off. She wanted to make sure she didn't miss anything, but every time she reread it, she couldn't come up with anything new.

Maybe Shinji was right. Maybe Asuka _did _deserve to be with someone better than him. But maybe she didn't _want _someone else. Maybe all she wanted, all she needed, was just him. Just her Baka-Shinji. Maybe that was all she needed for her life to be right. She didn't care about what she deserved. The German woman had learned that life wasn't about what you deserved anyway.

People often don't get what they deserve, whether it be damnation or salvation.

She didn't care if it would turn out in two more years or so that the perfect man would walk into her life. If for some magical reason, a tall, handsome, confident, and overall flawless hunk appeared, then Asuka deduced that she wouldn't accept him. Behind all the insecurities, all the flaws, and all the desires, she knew that she needed Shinji. Instrumentality changed her perspectives on a lot of things, but before she got a chance to fix everything, she found that she was leaving Shinji, so maybe this was it. Maybe this was how Shinji felt when _she _left _him _on that fateful day all those years ago.

But to be honest, deep down, Asuka didn't want to return to her so-called family. If she had to pick between the two dysfunctional families, one making up her father and stepmother, and the other making up Misato and Shinji, she would choose the latter in a heartbeat. The drunken slob and the selfless idiot changed her life for the better. It was a shame she just didn't realize it until it was far too late.

Deciding that she ultimately wasn't hungry for dinner, Asuka walked into her room, before spotting a certain object on the nightstand on the side Shinji slept. Asuka scowled, walking over quickly and picking it up, before proceeding to examine it. Stupid idiot was such in a rush to leave that he forgot it, didn't he?!

Clutching the object tightly, she made a decision. She would go to Japan and teach that idiot a lesson! She wasn't going to let Baka-Shinji just run away! Asuka Langley Sohryu demands an explanation!

So thus, she made a decision that would shake her life. And the life of Shinji Ikari.

* * *

How long has it been since Shinji had wimped out and returned to Japan without saying a true goodbye to Asuka? A week? Hmm, something like that. Shinji sighed. It was probably longer than that, actually. But Shinji had stopped caring. He had grown more apathetic about things in a way, but that was okay. His apathy would leave, and things would go back to normal. That's how things would go; whenever something bad would happen, whether because of an action of Shinji's or not, he would become icy, uncaring, and have something of an "I don't care" sort of attitude that would go away rather quickly.

This was normal, right?

Hmm, it doesn't really matter, does it? After all, Shinji was one of the furthest things from normal. And his life. He had stopped trying to be normal a long time ago. He had stopped trying to lead a normal life, as his past would always be there, mocking him.

What day was it? Checking the calendar on the wall, Shinji sighed in relief. _Not a work day, that's all I care about, _he thought lazily to himself.

Perhaps today would be a "kick back and do nothing" day. Then again, that would mean today would be the exact same day as all the other days. Ever since he left Germany, Shinji found Japan to be more boring than he remembered. He often ran out of things to do, took naps a little more often, and so forth.

Did his choice really influence him that much? If he knew how things would be different, maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe. Just maybe. But it was too late by now, wasn't it? As always, it's too late to have regrets.

But if Shinji was any more flippant about the past, and not careful enough about his choices, who knows where he'll be in the near-future? Even before taking his Germany vacation, his life was going nowhere. Unsuccessful relationship after unsuccessful relationship, uneventful day after uneventful day.

Perhaps staying with Asuka would have been the better choice. It would've opened a new chapter in his life, but instead, he chose to stay on the page he was at, as if he were content with his life, when he really wasn't. But he already used up his second chance. It was too late to—

Knock, knock, knock.

Shinji jerked up, realizing that as he was lost in his thoughts, he had begun to doze off into another nap. How stupid.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Coming," Shinji yelled at the door tiredly as he got up from where he was sitting and made his way towards the door.

He was in for quite the surprise.

* * *

_Hmm, this place reminds me of Misato's apartment. It also reminds me of Shinji. That's a good sign, right? _Asuka thought as she used Shinji's given address to track him down and totally not murder him in cold blood with the object that Shinji had forgotten at her home. _And here I am. At least, this is where I should be. Let's hope for the best, _she thought, before proceeding to knock three times on the door.

Oh, she was going to do him in good! She was going to put the idiot in his place and remind him what it means to cross Asuka Langley Sohryu!

Ever the impatient one, Asuka proceeded to knock on the door another three more times, before hearing a familiar voice respond. "Coming," it said.

Her eyes widened, but when she recovered, she clenched her fist, ready to sock Shinji right in the face, object in hand. She prepared, took a deep breath, got into a ready position, and…

She couldn't do it.

When the door opened, Asuka saw Shinji again. That was all she needed. Again, she had ignored what she really wanted, and as she saw the stupid expression on his stupid face, all of the "anger" had disappeared. All that was left was a desire to be with him.

Shinji, needless to say, was surprised to see her. His eyes widened greatly as he stepped back. "A-Asuka?!"

Asuka looked down briefly, before looking straight up at Shinji, her blue orbs of eyes looking deeply into his. Smiling, she raised her arm, revealing the SDAT player that Shinji had forgotten to take with him. The forgotten memory and the relic of his past.

"You forgot something," she softly said. It was almost a whisper.

"Wh—" Before Shinji could formulate an intelligent response, he felt Asuka practically leap into him, arms wrapping around him tightly in a loving embrace.

And with that, he accepted he wouldn't be able to escape the Red Devil. And because of that, he realized how happy he was. How blessed that he had a devil walk into his life and change it all for the better.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, yeah. I did **_**not **_**have fun writing this chapter. This probably shows, seeing as how you might say that the ending was quite abrupt, and in my opinion, this is the weakest chapter. Heck, I had to use original characters. Ugh. Anyway, you can try changing my opinion of this chapter with a positive review. I mean, that's great if you like it, but I think I could've down better, but even with a bunch of revisions, I couldn't find that one "thing" that automatically makes my chapter stronger. I don't know. Anyway, yeah. Next chapter is an epilogue of sorts while the one after that is an alternate/secret ending. Cheers.**

**Also, I just want to say that Asuka's sudden change in personality and thinking train in her scene comes from the fact she's "sorta" tsundere and "sorta not" tsundere. You know how tsunderes are like, right? Well, tsunderes that are done right anyway.**

…**Even if I probably didn't even do it right.**


	8. Epilogue

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 8: Epilogue  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Neon Genesis Evangelion franchise or the characters. They belong to Hideaki Anno.  
A/N: Alright! Can't believe we're finally here. This will mark the penultimate chapter of the fic. To be frank, there isn't much to say about this particular chapter. It's simply just for closure in case Chapter 7 wasn't enough for you. Another thing though, I'm just going to repeat that I'm using the manga references when it comes to Toji's fate, how Shinji met Kaworu, and some other stuff. Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

_My name is Shinji Ikari. Recently, my life took a few bumps, but that's okay, because now I'm sure everything's better. I used to think of my life as something of a useless one. I was just…y'know, going through the motions. Not caring about anything in particular. And then she walked back into my life. Asuka._

_Before she came into my life, there were so many things I thought I needed. So many things I wanted to change about my life. It wasn't until she came along that I realized what I actually needed and wanted. All I needed was her, and I found myself running away from her. But she followed me home. You can't escape your demons that easily after all._

_So, in the end, it dawned on me that if I had another chance to be God, there wouldn't be a single thing I would change._

* * *

"So, you're finally better now? You have that smile on your face, and I'm not sure if I like it," the co-worker named Daisuke said to Shinji.

"Yeah, things worked out in the end," Shinji said with a smile, "And things will stay like that."

"That's great that you feel better and all," yelled a stern co-worker in the background, "But your happiness is not going to cook the food by itself, so get working!"

Shinji laughed briefly, before standing up. "Sorry," he said half-heartedly, still smiling.

* * *

Life with Asuka was certainly different. Shinji had accepted Asuka into his home with open arms (after realizing what had just happened), but was also quick to ask Asuka why exactly she was here and how long she was going to stay.

When Asuka had revealed that she had quit her job and moved to Japan all just to be with him, Shinji almost fainted. Emphasis on "fainted." He stood there for a few seconds, dumbfounded, before being slapped in order to be awakened back into reality. When Shinji came to, he eagerly let Asuka in, and before he knew it, he was living a life similar to that of the one he lived in 2015.

Except perhaps Asuka was playing a dual part as both herself and Misato. She was practically ruining his life by stealing all of his food! But that's okay. Shinji could live with it. He could live with her because in return for the food raids, she offered him her love, comfort, solace, and embraces. That is, when she's not complaining about why it takes so long for the water to get hot.

Like, say, right now for example.

"Gaahhh!" Asuka groaned as she poked her head out the door, giving Shinji a venomous look, "We need to fix the water here! Seriously, it takes like three minutes for the water to get hot!" She whined.

Shinji, lying on his bed, moaned in pain as he felt a headache coming. "Asuka, it's like 8 in the morning. Please don't wake me up with your yelling," he complained back.

"Answer me!" Asuka demanded fiercely.

Turning to face Asuka, Shinji yawned briefly. "Just be patient, okay?" He murmured as he sat up, "Or do you want me to actually come in there and take a look?"

Asuka scowled at Shinji, before realizing that she was actually naked. Though Shinji wasn't actually seeing anything, considering only her head was sticking out, the redhead visibly blushed. "I know one thing you're going to look at, and I won't allow it!" She bellowed, before slamming the door shut.

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that, Asuka!" Shinji said as he got up and walked over to the door, knocking on it. "I swear, I didn't mean it like that! Come on, let me in!"

* * *

"Y'know, these pre-Second Impact shows are the best if you ask me. They have more taste and substance," Asuka said as she sat on the couch lazily, watching TV.

Sitting next to her, Shinji shrugged. "I've come to appreciate media from whatever time period, whether it be an old spy movie from the 1960s or your soap operas from ten something years ago," he sighed.

It was one of _those _lazy days.

* * *

"Shinji, how come you never tell me how beautiful I am?"

Shinji paused, blinking as he stopped cooking dinner for himself and Asuka. "Uhh…" He replied intelligently.

"Well?" Asuka frowned, crossing her arms, "I'm waiting."

Looking out the nearby window for inspiration, Shinji came up with several ideas and attempted to start. "Err…you're as clear and bright as the Moon," he began.

Asuka raised an eyebrow and suppressed an amused smirk. "Go on."

"You're as beautiful as the stars and…" He continued, looking down at his frying pan, continuing to cook, "And as exuberant as the red fires."

Asuka couldn't hold back a small laugh. Satisfied, she flicked Shinji in the back of his head. "Good enough, though you'll need to work on the similes. They're way too cheesy for my taste, but overall, not bad for a first try."

"In return, I expect you to say something good about _me_, okay?"

"You're cute in a stupid way that only my Baka-Shinji can be!" Asuka said as she leaned against the counter, "How's that?"

"I guess I'll have to make to do with that, huh?" Shinji sighed, finishing up the meal.

* * *

"Hey, Asuka? Whatever happened to your pilot gear?" Shinji asked abruptly, the two of them standing outside on a balcony on a night like any other.

"What, you mean the old plugsuit and the hair clips?"

Shinji nodded, "Yeah. What'd you do with them?"

"Well…" Asuka sighed, the wind blowing in her hair, "Seeing as I knew I'd never pilot the Eva again, I just threw away my plugsuit. I have no idea where it is right now, and I don't want to find it again," she frowned, before trying to hold her hair down in place, "As for the clips? I actually have them," she said, eyes a bit wide, giving Shinji the brief illusion that she looked like a bubbly girl who had that cute expression when she tried to think, "You want me to get them? They're pretty old of course, but I still keep them."

"Why's that?" The young man simply asked.

"Well, I threw away the plugsuit because well, it reminded me too much of the sensation of dying," she said, her voice growing a tad softer, "And since I wore the clips just about all the time, I didn't notice that I had them on until that night before I went to sleep, and I…well, sorta became really attached to those little buggers for some reason. I told myself that I should throw them away as soon as possible, but I actually never got around to, and today, I see them as a reminder of the strong girl I once was."

Shinji nodded in understanding, gently taking Asuka's free hand as he looked down, seeing the empty street below, "You're still that strong girl, Asuka. You're the strongest person I know, actually."

"Ah, shut it," she responded, the reply being possibly the last thing Shinji expected to hear, "I was never all that special. I was never all that special to anyone back then."

"That's not true," Shinji said sternly, facing Asuka, "You were special to me, Asuka. You still are, more than ever."

Asuka couldn't help but smile, but rather, the smile was a gesture of amusement, rather than flattery. "Alright, alright, don't get all touchy-feely on me, Baka-Shinji. You're the one who started all this."

"I-I was just curious," Shinji said, suddenly transitioning from serious-minded to embarrassed, "I didn't—"

"Alright, alright, whatever," Asuka said, suddenly returning to her so-called proud state, "What happened to _your _plugsuit?"

"Err…" Shinji stammered, trying to think, but realizing that his mind was completely blank in a matter of seconds, "I don't know."

"Whaaat?! Whaddya mean you don't know?!" She exclaimed, pulling her hand away from Shinji's, as if she were disgusted with him, though she was only playing, "What are you, stupid?!"

"Well, I wasn't exactly—"

"Do you even at least know where your nerve connector clips are?!"

"No, but I—"

"Gahh, you're so irresponsible, Baka-Shinji!"

"Stop interrupting m—"

"I don't have to take orders from a clumsy oaf who claims that his possessions just up and disappear!"

And thus, banter began. It was a peaceful night like any other night. It all started with a small spark, and erupted into Asuka taking advantage of the situation and giving Shinji a hard time. It was alright though. Shinji liked it. As long as he was with her, everything was alright. And because he was, he was content with his life in the end.

Such a peaceful night to yell about old possessions.

* * *

"Hey, have you ever thought about…y'know, trying to put the past at rest?" Asuka asked Shinji on a night like any other. Shinji had taken the liberty of treating Asuka to a fancy restaurant for dinner, despite her complaints concerning how she was tired of Japanese food, to which Shinji would counter with the fact that _she _was the one who decided to fly over to _Japan_.

"I try to," Shinji answered as he ate his meal, "But it's not really the easiest thing to do. I tried to bury it all, but it keeps rising up when I least expect it," he said openly.

"You shouldn't do that, y'know," Asuka said, slightly amused that once again, she had taken the role of "responsible mentor" to Shinji, "At that rate, the past is going to catch up to you unless you make amends with it."

"Oh, yeah?" He simply asked, visibly uncomfortable with the subject.

Asuka nodded. "Yep! In fact, tell you what, I'll help you get over the past in no time! You can count on me!" She said enthusiastically, giving a thumbs up and winking.

Shinji raised an eyebrow, before sighing as he continued to eat. "Th-that's not necessary. You really shouldn't."

"Oh, come on! I want to help you! Trust me, this is for the best!"

"You're not going to give up on this, are you?" The man asked, glancing at Asuka.

"Nope! Just you wait; you'll be feeling much better about yourself and your past before you know it!"

Shinji simply nodded, though his mind had seen better days, seeing as how the part of his thoughts that said _I mustn't run away _was clashing with the thoughts that said _I hope she forgets about this._

* * *

"Hello? Is this Hikari Horaki?" Asuka spoke to the phone as she looked out the window the morning after.

Shinji was brushing his teeth and was about to walk into the dining room where Asuka sat, before stopping dead in his tracks. _Hikari? As in, the class rep? What's she doing calling her? That's odd, _Shinji thought as he leaned against the wall, out of Asuka's view.

"Hey, Hikari! It's me, Asuka! Asuka Langley Sohryu! How's it been?" She said happily, elated that her old friend remembered her.

Obviously, Shinji couldn't hear what the person on the other side was saying, so he had to infer what Hikari was saying based on Asuka's words and reactions. Assuming this actually was Hikari and not someone else. But then again, wasn't Asuka always on top of these things?

"That's good to hear!" She exclaimed unusually cheerfully, "And I've been doing just fine! In fact, I recently just bumped into a certain someone? Care to guess who?"

Being the intelligent man that he is, Shinji guessed that the "certain someone" Asuka was referring to was him.

After a very brief silence, during which Shinji assumed Hikari guessed the answer, Asuka began talking again. "Yep, that's right! Where are you right now? I was hoping we'd all get together and catch up for old times' sake! What do you say, Hikari?"

Shinji smiled at the thought of reuniting with his old classmate. Old friends were the rarest luxury to him. He hadn't even seen Misato for about a few months. A year at the most. Maybe _he _should give Misato a call soon? He would really hate to lose the woman who was the closest thing to a mother to him, as far as he could remember.

"Great! We'll meet tomorrow then, if that's alright. Shin-chan sometimes takes me out to this great restaurant. I'll text you about it. I want this to be a surprise for Shinji. Okay? Okay! See you soon, Hikari!" Asuka said excitedly, before hanging up. Shinji couldn't get over how uncharacteristic Asuka was acting. She rarely was _this _enthusiastic about things. She was almost like a little girl again. A _normal _little girl at that.

As Asuka hung up, Shinji attempted to walk away after registering the fact that he now knew something he wasn't supposed to, but before he could take two steps forward, he stopped dead in his tracks when Asuka spoke.

"Agh, you heard everything, didn't you, Baka-Shinji?!"

Shinji gulped, blinking as he realized he almost swallowed toothpaste, having forgotten that he was in the process of brushing his teeth just a moment earlier. _Huh, I really am stupid, _Shinji thought as he stepped into Asuka's view, nodding. "Yeah," Shinji uttered to the best of his ability, his speech impaired by his nervousness and the toothpaste in his mouth, "Sorry."

"Ooh, you ruined it before I even got a chance to plan things out!" Asuka said in that usual fiery tone. Shinji had to say that it was admittedly cute when Asuka got "angry" like that. It was almost like she was a chibi from those anime shows, and Shinji would even sometimes imagine that Asuka's head suddenly grew approximately four times bigger, and her hands would be reduced to simple spheres, and she would flail her arms angrily.

"I said I'm sorry!" Shinji replied helplessly, the toothpaste threatening to spill out of his mouth, "Excuse me," he quickly uttered as he dashed back into the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste so that he'd actually be able to talk.

As he did so, Asuka raised an eyebrow, just a "_tad_" annoyed, and followed him. As she reached the bedroom, Shinji walked out of the bathroom, now able to talk coherently.

"A-Anyway," Shinji stammered uneasily, "It's nice to know that you're getting back together with Hikari. You two were _really _good friends, y'know," he said, trying to manage a smile.

Asuka even smiled back. "Yeah, we were. And I want to be friends again," she said. It was amazing to note how much she had changed in these years. Even after the several weeks that Shinji had reunited with Asuka, he found that she was just full and full of surprises.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I really was surprised when I realized you were talking to her. Seems like forever since I've even thought of her," Shinji said.

"Hey! Now don't go having perverted fantasies about me and Hikari, or else I'm leaving you!" Asuka said, again using the familiar fiery tone.

Shinji quickly realized his mistake and backed up. "No, no! Th-that's not what I meant, Asuka! Honest! I—"

Shinji's protests were interrupted when Asuka suddenly put a finger in front of his lips, before removing said finger, and leaning in for a quick kiss on the lips. As she backed up, she smiled in amusement. "It's so fun to tease you, Baka-Shinji. But you like it, don't you?" She asked teasingly, pinching his cheek lightly.

"I don't appreciate you manipulating me like this," said Shinji sternly, frowning as he flinched from the pinch.

Asuka laughed warmly. "You are _so _whipped. Now come on! I need to you to help me determine what I should wear! I want to make a good impression when I see Hikari again!"

Shinji couldn't help but laugh warmly, before nodding. "Yes, dear."

_He really is whipped, _Asuka thought, smiling to herself, _But he likes it. I know it._

_Asuka's right, I sorta am whipped, _Shinji thought, _But I have to admit I sorta like it. In some weird way or another. Actually…I am weird, what am I saying?_

* * *

The restaurant was decently sized, and today, it was moderately busy, but it wasn't horribly difficult to locate Hikari Horaki, who happily approached Asuka with a hug and gleeful yells of "Oh my gosh, it's been so long!" and so forth.

However, when it was Shinji's turn to be greeted by Hikari, he was instead welcomed with a slap rather than a hug. This brought about the attention of several customers within the restaurant, but Hikari didn't care. She just seemed to suddenly remember that she seemed to be furious with a certain Shinji Ikari.

"Ow! Hey, that hurt! Why'd you slap me?!" Shinji whined, though now that he thought about it, he could think of several reasons why he was slapped.

"That was for just abandoning school! I can imagine you had to repeat the 8th Grade, Mr. Ikari!" She said sternly, that tone of the nerve-racking class representative still within her attitude. "You never even said goodbye to me, Kensuke, or the rest of the class. You just…left without a word after…after…" She said, before stopping, the memories becoming painful rather quickly. Even if Shinji wasn't exactly bright at certain times, it didn't take him long to realize that her pain originated from something deeper.

"I…I'm sorry," he mumbled, "After Toji, things just weren't the same. I knew that things could never be the same. I thought you hated me for what I did, so I simply avoided you. I was running away from you, though I had nowhere to go."

Shinji sighed, taking a seat as he looked down, the memories once again resurfacing. The clash with Unit-03 was undeniably one of the more traumatic experiences in his life. His friend had paid the ultimate price for Shinji's inability to act. Even if he had been friends with Toji for a relatively short time, the impact he and Kensuke had on Shinji was there. Those two were the first friends Shinji had ever had.

And now they were both gone. Needless to say, Shinji avoided people after that. He tried to accept that inevitably, people would hurt him, and in return, he would hurt people. That was why he was here. That's why he's back here in this rebuilt world.

Speaking again, Shinji cleared his throat. "From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry," he said, attempting to face Hikari, "I hurt a lot of people because of my stupidity. I just wish that I'd have a chance to talk to them again, y'know? Toji and Kensuke. It'd be just like old times. The three stooges just hanging together…" He said. Shinji wasn't a sentimental one. He didn't have many things to get attached to, but he dearly missed his old friends. He dearly cherished the memories he had in 2015, good and bad.

"You will get another chance. I'm making sure of that," Asuka spoke, cutting in the conversation between Shinji and Hikari.

Looking up at Asuka in surprise, Shinji's eyes widened a tad. "Wh-what do you mean by that, Asuka?" He asked, puzzled.

"Don't worry about it, Baka-Shinji, you'll see what I mean soon," she said with a smile. Shinji couldn't even describe what was behind the smile. It was a mess of reassurance, mischievous intent, sincerity, and mocking. If that was even possible. But then again, she seemed to always defy what Shinji would count as normal or possible, "Now come on! Let's eat for now, okay?"

Shinji nodded, and hesitantly, Hikari did as well, but not before giving Shinji a venomous look. "I'm not done with you yet, Mr. Ikari!" She said sternly. It was just like Middle School all over again.

* * *

After an uneasy meal in which Hikari seemed to be lying when she promised that their talk wasn't over, and a mild argument about who was going to pay, the three old friends made their way to the cemetery, where Shinji quickly deduced what was going to happen.

He needed badly to atone for his sins and bury his past. So was this a way of helping him move on with his life? Did Asuka expect that speaking to a bunch of slabs of stone would magically heal Shinji?

"Asuka…" he whispered, though apparently, the fiery woman would have none of it.

"Oh, be quiet, you!" She hissed, "This is for your own good, you know! Trust me, I thought it was stupid too at first, but talking to the graves of the ones you cared for actually do make things better," she insisted.

"I…oh, fine," Shinji sighed, once again surrendering to the ever persistent Asuka. If she was telling the truth, then that meant that Asuka, who was once the most unreasonable person Shinji had ever met, had made peace by talking to these stone slabs.

"Err…hey, Mom," The slightly annoyed young man said, looking down at the grave of Yui Ikari, before grunting and turning to Asuka, "This is embarrassing. Let's just go."

"No can do," Asuka assertively replied, grabbing Shinji by the shoulders and turning him around, "If it makes you feel more comfortable, we'll give you some privacy," she said, her voice surprisingly filled with sincerity. She really did seem serious about this, huh?

"No, no, it's fine, I guess," Shinji sighed reluctantly, "Anyway…hi, Mother. It's been a while. I'm sorry," he muttered, clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, "It's been a very long time since I visited, and I really don't have an excuse, do I? I just…I'm really sorry, but I'll make it up to you, okay? I promise," he said, getting down on one knee.

He looked back and saw Asuka and Hikari staring intensely at him, the latter crossing her arms. Shinji gulped, but looked back at the grave of Yui Ikari. There was no body under the grave, but then, there was no body. Along with the Evangelion Unit-01, the being of Yui Ikari disappeared after Third Impact.

"Anyway, err…I don't know what to say, Mother," Shinji said. Talking to a grave wasn't exactly like talking to a person, after all. One couldn't ask "How have you been?" to a grave or something of the sort, though while Shinji still felt embarrassed talking to an unresponsive grave, the faint thought of his mother calmed him, "I didn't exactly come prepared with flowers or anything, but…I hope you're doing well…up there," he said, nodding at the sky.

Shinji was no atheist, but he certainly wasn't overly religious. But going through what he went through and seeing what he saw during Third Impact, it's just about impossible to believe that there isn't a supernatural deity out there. Maybe Mother really was still alive…up in whatever Heaven existed.

Bowing his head to the grave briefly, he stood up and walked over to the next grave and took a deep breath, realizing that he was beginning to shake again.

Before him sat the grave of his late father, Gendo Ikari.

"F-Father," he began, his breathing getting faster, his heart rate going up. He never wanted to speak to his father again, even if it was just a grave. But he had to. He trusted Asuka's words. After all, her words were the only reason he was here, "It's been a long time as well, Father."

Just like his wife's grave, the once powerful commander of a once powerful organization had a grave with no body buried. "Father…did you ever love me? Did you ever care for me? Or was it only Mother that you wanted?" He asked in a whisper, away from the ears of the two women behind him.

Breathing again, Shinji closed his eyes, unable to look at his father's grave. "I guess it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? What's done is done, right? And yet…I can't bring myself to move on!" Shinji almost yelled, but kept to his soft whisper, clenching his fist as he determinedly glared at the stone slab.

"I…I'm not sure if I can forgive you for everything that you've done to me," Shinji said, clenching his fists harder as he remembered the pain. It all came flooding back to him. The images were vivid and the voices were as clear as day in his head. The painful memories were all invading his mind.

Like when he was abandoned.

_Father, please don't leave me!_

_Don't say such selfish things, Shinji._

Like when he was called to pilot Unit-01 for the very first time.

_Why have you called me here?!_

_Because I have a use for you._

Like when he activated the Dummy Plug System in the fight against the contaminated Unit-03.

_Activate the Dummy Plug System. The current pilot is obviously useless._

_No, Father! What the hell are you doing?! Stop this, Father! NOOOOOO!_

Shinji visibly grunted, as if the memories were a physical pain that punched him in the face. But he mustn't run away. He had to prove to himself he was better than that. Scowling deeply as he opened his eyes, he looked down at the grave once more, facing his demons. For the sake of himself, and possibly his relationship with Asuka.

"I…I don't know if I can forgive you for everything," he repeated, swallowing, "But then, I don't know if you're sorry either. Without remorse, you hurt me. You lied to me. You used me. But I won't let you haunt me! I won't let you rule my life even in death! I'll…I'll live my life free of your damned shadow! I'll live my life by my own accord and you'll have nothing to do with it!" He said, his whisper gradually turning into a yell. Conveniently enough though, it was only him, Asuka, and Hikari at the cemetery, so no witnesses were present to give him strange looks.

"But…despite all of that, you're still my father, aren't you? And I can't change that, no matter how much I want to. Even if you never loved me, Father, at least let me believe you had a spark of decency within you. The same spark that you hid from the world, and shared only to Mother…" He said, before feeling a calming hand on his shoulder.

As Shinji turned around, he faced a smiling Asuka. No mischief, no irritation, no amusement. Just eyes full of love and care.

But her words quickly said otherwise. "Does someone need a hug?" She asked jokingly, gently flicking Shinji's nose.

Still, even with the words she said, Shinji could still tell that her eyes meant that she really was offering a sincere hug, despite the playful tone. Shaking his head and pursing his lips, Shinji looked at the other graves. "Not yet. Maybe when it's all over."

Shinji still had a way to go. He had way more apologies to make, way more confessions to make. After all, his parents weren't the only people he cared for that had graves lying in this cursed cemetery. He had to apologize to Toji, who he had killed because of his inability to act. There were also the people who never actually returned from Instrumentality, like Kensuke, Ritsuko, and Mr. Aoba.

But he was ready for anything as long as he had Asuka and Hikari by his side.

"I'm ready," he stated, confirming his thoughts, "Let's go," he sighed bravely, stepping forward.

* * *

Hikari was frankly proud of Shinji for finally facing up to his past, even if it took him quite a long time to do so. Deciding to bring him a token of goodwill, and to show that she had forgiven him, she held a box with a present inside. Asuka had given her the address of Shinji's apartment, so the former class rep didn't have any trouble locating them. After all, they _were _back to being good ol' friends, right?

Though Asuka knew that Hikari was coming to deliver the present, she didn't actually know what it was. Still, she kept the door unlocked for Hikari, who showed up early in the morning around 9:15 AM or so. Humming a tune to herself as she inched towards Shinji's door, she stopped and blinked as she heard yelling beyond the door. The only comprehensible thing she heard was "Give them back to me or I swear I'll…!"

And then that was responded with a "What are you gonna do about it, huh?"

Blinking, she opened the door, and stepped in, but immediately wished she hadn't. Beyond her was a horrible sight that would probably scar her for a small while.

Shinji Ikari, wearing only a white t-shirt and nothing else, chasing after Asuka Langley Sohryu, who was holding a pair of pants. As soon as Shinji saw Hikari at the door, his eyes widened in great surprise as he suddenly stopped. Asuka did the same, though she should have remembered. Of course, the one with the widest eyes at this point was Hikari, who blinked twice, and took a step back.

"Hey, Hikari," Shinji uttered, swallowing as he realized he was in trouble.

"…I'm going to leave this here. And then I'm going to go," Hikari replied, trying to make eye contact as much as possible. She did _not _need to see Shinji's buttocks. Getting down and placing the box on the ground, still making eye contact, she took another step back and closed the door.

As Hikari left, the door now closed, Shinji glared at Asuka, greatly distressed, before proceeding to yank the pair of pants out of her grasp.

* * *

Armisael. Mountain of the Judgment of God. Angel of the Womb. One of the most horrifying Angels Shinji Ikari had ever faced. One of the most traumatic events in his life.

However, now that he was older and more mature, Shinji realized that Asuka was right and that he knew he had to move on with his life. It had been fourteen years since the fight with Armisael, and Tokyo-3 still hadn't exactly recovered from the destruction that was caused as a result of the fight.

As a result of Unit-00 self-destructing.

And by extension, the death of Rei Ayanami. At least, the Rei Ayanami that Shinji believed in.

Even before that, Shinji was slowly becoming the nervous wreck that he once was. After the Zeruel incident and being trapped in Unit-01 for a month, Shinji was forced back into the grim and harsh world of Earth. And then he met the oddball Kaworu Nagisa.

He didn't like Kaworu at all when he first met him. He was the strangest boy Shinji had ever met. Coldly killing a kitten and justifying by saying that the kitten would have died later anyway was proof of that. And yet, despite how Shinji distrusted and disliked Kaworu, the white-haired boy still cared for Shinji, and over time, he grew on him a bit.

However, after the encounters with the Angels known as Arael and Armisael, resulting in Asuka going into a coma and Rei dying, Shinji had nowhere to turn to. Misato didn't know what to do for him, and even then, she was devastated as well, still grieving over the death of Mr. Kaji at the time, while everyone else, including Mr. Hyuga, Ms. Ibuki, Ritsuko, and Father, were all either apathetic or unknowing of Shinji's situation.

When Shinji found that the only one to turn to was Kaworu, it was then that he revealed that he was the final Angel, and that he had to die after discovering the true identity of the crucified giant in Terminal Dogma.

But that was then, and this is now. The now older Shinji sighed through his nose, pursing his lips as he knelt on the edge that separated him from the water. Standing at the death scene of Armisael and Rei, it was needless to say that this was an important place for him. It was in the middle of the afternoon, the hot sun and the ubiquitous heat affecting everyone in the area except for Shinji.

Loosely holding a letter in his hand, Shinji looked at it for a little bit. He had written down his true feelings about Rei and Kaworu on a piece of paper and sealed it in this envelope. Now that he was here, he almost snorted at the thought that dropping this letter into the water would somehow allow the two albino-like people he once knew to be at peace or whatever he was trying to accomplish.

Still, he was already here at the last place he saw the Rei Ayanami that mattered to him. _To hell with it, here I go, _the troubled man thought as he tossed the letter into the water. The people walking around and past him didn't seem to mind him. Then again, Shinji could imagine that many people pay their respects here. After all, as clear as it was already, Tokyo-3 wasn't quite the same after the Armisael attack, a great chunk of the city having been destroyed when Rei activated Unit-00's self-destruction, so it'd be very easy to believe that a lot of people died in the explosion.

As Shinji was lost in thought, he could've sworn he noticed two people watching him, these individuals only visible to him in peripheral vision. As he looked up from the water and blinked in surprise, he glanced to the side and saw no one watching him. Only people ignoring him as they went about with their business.

Funny, he could've sworn that the one on the left had short blue hair…

And that the one on the right sported familiar light grey hair.

Still, Shinji now saw no one like that, so as he turned around and began walking home, he placed a hand on his head, deducing that perhaps he was going crazy.

* * *

"Just call her already and say thanks for the present!"

"I am, I am! Geez!" Shinji sighed in minor annoyance as he sat on a chair, cell phone in hand. Roughly two days had passed since Hikari had stumbled into Shinji chasing around Asuka, who was holding his pants, and she hadn't exactly talked to the two lovers after that.

After a few rings, the familiar voice of the former class rep answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Hikari. It's me, Shinji. I just wanted to thank you for…for the err…y'know, cookies," Shinji stammered, trying his best not to be embarrassed from the ordeal that was becoming more and more vivid in his head.

If Hikari was still embarrassed as well, she seemed to be hiding it well. "It's no problem! You and Asuka deserve 'em!" She chirped happily.

Shinji couldn't help but nervously chuckle. "Yeah, thanks. Anyway, I'll see you around. Bye," he said as he hung up.

"There we go. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Asuka asked, hands on her hips as she stood in front of Shinji.

"That was one of the most uncomfortable conversations I've ever participated in. And it wasn't even a minute long," Shinji confessed, putting his phone down.

* * *

Nighttime was beautiful in Tokyo-3. The streets were pristine, free of the hectic traffic that plagued daytime. The stars were shining beautifully, as was the full moon. Everything was peaceful and quiet, except for one place.

Shinji Ikari's apartment.

"No, you don't step like that! You—wait, stop! No, no—waaaaahhh!"

"Agh!" Shinji yelped as he fell down on top of Asuka.

Nothing interesting was happening at all. Just Asuka dancing with Shinji, nostalgic about the time they spent together while synchronizing in order to beat Israfel. Of course, it had been years since Shinji danced the way he danced with Asuka when they were 14, so to say that he was rusty was a gross understatement.

"Ow…sorry," Shinji murmured.

"Nngh…get off of me, you pervert," Asuka replied, which was sort of her way of saying "Apology accepted" in this situation.

Complying, Shinji rolled off of her, before proceeding to get up. He helped Asuka up, holding her closely in her arms. The fiery redhead blushed a tad, though she made no effort to hide it. Instead, she simply decided to ignore it and continue on with the dancing session. Actually, it felt like she was training him or something at this point.

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" She asked with a smile as they began dancing again, taking it slowly for now.

"Sorry, I can't help it," Shinji said, smiling as well.

"Stop apologizing. You're too cute when you're like that," Asuka said, proceeding to lean forward and peck her so-called boyfriend on the cheek.

Unfortunately, Shinji blushed fiercely, as the kiss seemed to utterly crush his concentration and in no time, they fell down again, the man accidentally tripping Asuka, who had her hand gripping Shinji tightly. As the two hit the floor, Asuka glared at Shinji, who seemed to have his face buried into her chest. Realizing where he was, Shinji immediately pulled his head up, greatly embarrassed.

"Sorry, sorry!" He exclaimed.

"Nngh…let's take five…" Asuka sighed tiredly.

Quite a peaceful night, it was.

* * *

"Happy 30th birthday, Shinji!" Asuka shouted as she presented to him the birthday cake.

"Thanks! Err…what flavor is this?" Shinji replied, staring quizzically at the cake. He wasn't picky when it came to food, but still, he had never seen this before.

"It's called tiramisu. Try it!" Asuka said as she cut a slice and handed it to Shinji on a plate.

"Uhh…okay," he said reluctantly, before proceeding to take a small bite.

He proceeded to finish the slice within thirty seconds.

* * *

Asuka couldn't stop giggling. It was such a childish thing to giggle at Shinji, but she just couldn't help it. He just looked so damn silly with those glasses!

"What is it?" Shinji asked, oblivious to how odd he looked as he adjusted his glasses.

"I just never pegged you as the type who needed glasses," she said, holding back a greatly amused grin.

"Well, for some reason, the eye doctor says that my eyesight's been getting worse somehow. I don't know why, but I'm just rolling with it."

"Aww, it just means you're getting old!" Asuka teased.

"I'm only six months older than you, so I am _not _getting old like that!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

* * *

"Mein Gott! Shinji, I won the lottery!" Asuka gasped in partial disbelief. The one time she decided to try her luck…!

Shinji fainted.

* * *

"So what do you think of the house?" The agent asked Shinji and Asuka.

Shortly after Asuka had won the lottery, she goaded Shinji into dumping the small and cramped apartment and replace it with an actual house. Hesitantly, Shinji agreed, and before he knew it, they were checking out houses and deciding on which one to buy.

"I like it," Shinji said simply, adjusting his glasses a bit.

"Hmm…" Asuka began thinking as she put a hand on her chin, "Let me check one more thing. I'll be right back," she said as she walked off.

"Umm, okay. I'll be here if you need any questions," the agent replied, before glancing at Shinji as soon as Asuka walked out of hearing range, "I'm guessing she wears the pants in the relationship, sir?"

"Err…y-yeah, you could say that," Shinji said with a meek smile, blushing.

"You are _so _whipped. Is she naturally that bad or did you do something bad so you feel like you need to give her a chance of revenge?"

"…Both."

* * *

"Hey, Shinji? Now that we're filthy rich, maybe you should get a new car? I bet that car's like six years old! Time for an upgrade!" Asuka exclaimed as she lay on the bed of their new home, sighing.

"Now, now, Asuka, we shouldn't be so hasty with the money. It's great that we're richer, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't still be careful."

"…Can't we at least buy _me _a car?"

Shinji shifted a bit on the new bed. The new room was…bigger than his old room, to say the least. Heck, even the bed was way bigger, giving Shinji and Asuka more room to stretch. Asuka believed it was a king-sized bed, but Shinji had his doubts.

"Err…fine."

* * *

Shinji knew something was up the moment she woke up and didn't immediately demand breakfast or insult him. Concerned, he looked at her as he stood over the woman, who was still in bed, her eyes staring into his very soul.

"Umm…Asuka, are you okay?"

"I feel like crap," she said somewhat crudely.

Instinctively, Shinji put a hand on her forehead, before gasping. "Oh, my! Asuka, you have a fever!"

"Hmm…" was all that Asuka could reply. It was unsettling to see someone so energetic suddenly become so passive, but then again, this wasn't the first time she got sick of course.

"You stay in bed, okay? I'll make some soup to help you get better."

"Okay," she practically whispered.

Shinji left the bedroom, and as promised, he returned several minutes later with a bowl of hot soup in his hands. Placing the bowl on the nightstand, Shinji took a chair and pulled it over, sitting down next to Asuka. He then took the soup and spoon, but Asuka stopped her when she spoke.

"I'm not letting you feed me. Give me the soup," she said firmly as she sat up, looking at him with tired eyes.

Shinji blushed at the thought of that, and suddenly thought that that would've actually been somewhat enjoyable in an awkward way to feed Asuka, but nevertheless, he complied, handing her the bowl and spoon.

Asuka graciously took the soup and began slurping. "It's good. Thanks," she said quietly.

"It was the least I could do for you," he said caringly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Asuka shrugged him off gently. "Don't touch me. I'm contagious," she said with a smile, to which they both shared a small laugh.

"I don't mind," Shinji said, before leaning in and kissing Asuka quickly on the lips.

* * *

"Dear lord, someone get me a priest or a monk or someone!" Shinji yelled deliriously, coughing in between a few words a few days later.

Asuka, on the other hand, sighed in annoyance. "You brought this upon yourself, y'know. I'm not taking the blame for giving you my fever."

* * *

"Hmph! You say that we should be careful with our money and then after that, you take me out to dinner in the most expensive restaurant in town! What's the big idea, huh?!" Asuka asked, crossing her arms as she sat.

"I was wanted to spoil you. That's all," Shinji said, smiling innocently.

The restaurant looked as expensive as it actually was. Elegant pictures of flowers on the walls, which in turn were painted pink, a chandelier on the ceiling, and a carpet with some sort of pattern involving squares were everywhere, giving off the right impression of classiness and wealth.

The waiter came by and gave the two lovers their drinks, the two of them having ordered glasses of wine. He left rather quickly, though Asuka didn't pay any mind to him.

As Asuka sipped her wine, she blinked and put it down immediately, making a face.

Shinji saw her reaction and raised a concerned eyebrow. "Something up with the wine, Asuka?"

"It tastes…off," she muttered, before sipping it again lightly, "I think there's something in it. I'm not sure," she murmured as she looked inside the glass. There seemed to be a circular object of some sort inside…but the red wine was so dark that she couldn't make out what was there.

"You found something?" Shinji asked curiously.

"Yeah…" She sighed, still staring at it.

"A-Aren't you gonna get it?" He asked simply.

Asuka looked up and gave "the look" to Shinji. "Are you stupid? These hands here are _not _going to be dipped in wine! _You _do it!"

"Oh my—agh, fine!" Shinji said, some frustration apparent in his voice. Asuka was confused at his sudden shift in attitude, but didn't say anything. As Shinji took Asuka's glass of wine, he reached into it and pulled the strange object out.

It was then that when she saw it, she gasped in surprise, her eyes widening greatly.

Smiling sweetly, Shinji held the dripping ring in front of him, showing it off to her. "Ta-dah!"

"Wh-what's the meaning of this, Baka-Shinji?!" She immediately asked, concluding that Shinji himself had something to do with this. Asuka was actually surprised that he was clever enough to devise something like this…whatever he was planning.

"It's a ring, Asuka!" Shinji said enthusiastically, oblivious to the fact that he was starting to sound like she was of lower intellect as he began cleaning the ring with his napkin.

"I know that, you idiot! Why was there a ring in my drink! And what are you—oh my god!" Asuka gasped again.

Shinji stood up from his chair, only to get onto one knee, holding out the ring to her. "You mean the world to me, Asuka. I love you. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. So, will you, the great and mighty Asuka Langley Sohryu, marry an idiot like Shinji Ikari?" He asked, his sweet smile doing unspoken wonders to the redhead's heart.

Asuka stared motionlessly at the ring and at Shinji, who looked at her hopefully. Shinji saw in Asuka's eyes that she was about to start crying from happiness or something, but instead, he got a result that he should've totally seen coming, but was satisfied with anyway.

Erasing the genuine surprise from her eyes, Asuka blinked and yanked the ring from Shinji's hand, looking at it with a smirk. "My, my. This looks expensive. You really _are _a hypocrite, aren't you?!" As she examined the ring closer, her smirk turned into a genuine smile. "It's beautiful. I love it. And…yes, I'll marry you," she said, before shaking her head, "But not before you get me another glass of wine!"

Shinji could barely hold back his excitement. She said yes! She said yes! She agreed to marry him! Still, he couldn't help but giggle like a little girl at Asuka's response. "Yes, dear. Anything you say."

* * *

Roughly eight to nine months later, the gathering of people at the wedding was modest. Not huge, but not pathetically small. Plenty of Shinji's co-workers, most of which Asuka did not know about, came. And then there was Misato, who promised that there was no way in Hell that she'd miss this. Shinji getting married was one thing, but Shinji getting married to Asuka? Forget it. It would be a snowy day in Hell while the planets aligned on Friday the 13th before Misato would miss the marriage of the two people she once raised like her own children.

With her, Misato brought a certain Mr. Hyuga (Misato insisted that she wasn't "seeing" him), who in turn contacted Ms. Ibuki. Hikari was present as well as a number of other people. Misato promised Asuka that they had _a lot _of catching up to do, and made all sorts of other promises. Asuka, in turn, was surprised to see Misato not drink beer for a whole three minutes.

As the priest yammered about whatever and the wedding went on, what with the vows and whatever, Asuka, in her beautiful white dress, was growing impatient. Still, she smiled, looking at Shinji. His suit was simple, but simplicity wasn't always bad, was it?

Asuka let her mind wander a bit until she got a good look at Shinji's eyes. She looked deeply into his vibrant eyes and saw the greatest happiness possible. Hmph, the idiot was probably thinking the same thing too!

"Shinji," the priest began, "Do you take Asuka to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Do you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Do you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Do you promise to be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

Shinji nodded. "I do."

The priest then proceeded to ask the same questions to Asuka, who replied earnestly. "I do."

Asuka held back a chuckle as she thought about what her 14 year old self would think. Her younger self would probably ask _What do you think you're doing?! Lowering yourself to someone like Baka-Shinji?!_ Or at least something of the sort.

"Then you may now kiss the bride."

And so Shinji did.

* * *

One Misato getting drunk and crying later…

* * *

The days passed by like a blur. Shinji had never been happier in his life. Holding Asuka in his arms was one of the greatest privileges his life had ever graced him with. In the scene he was in, it was like he was in some sort of cliché romance movie from before Second Impact. A field of dandelions and not a worry in the world.

Still holding Asuka, who sported a light pink sundress and a sunhat, he lifted her up and began spinning around.

Asuka giggled happily, but soon her eyes widened. "Baka-Shinji, look out!"

"Wait, wha—ahhhh!"

It turned out Shinji got a bit careless while spinning around with Asuka and ended up falling off a small hill. They rolled down briefly, but in the end, they didn't get hurt. Even Shinji's glasses were fine, aside from the fact that they fell off his face. Well, they didn't get hurt as a direct result of the fall, anyway.

Shinji got hurt when he was slapped for not being too careful.

* * *

Two years, a lot of phone calls from Misato, a letter from Ms. Ibuki, a jab from Asuka to Shinji about how he'd croak when he's going to be asked about where babies come from, and a few more batches of cookies from Hikari later…

* * *

"Oh my gosh, she's beautiful!" Asuka said, panting as she sat in the hospital bed, holding her baby in her arms. The baby was crying, but was quickly silenced at the warm embrace of her mother.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Ikari, it's a girl," the doctor said with a smile under his mask.

Looking up at Shinji, Asuka smiled, before looking back at her new daughter. "What should we name her, Shinji?"

"How about…Rei?" He suggested.

Asuka immediately gave a look of disgust and jerked the baby away from Shinji, as if to protect it from her husband's stupidity. "Ew, no!"

* * *

Five year old Shinko Rei Ikari looked up innocently at her father, Shinji Ikari, and asked the million dollar question. "Daddy, where do babies come from?"

"I…uhh…oh, crap. Mommy was right…" Shinji muttered in response.

* * *

"Are you ready for work or what?" The now older Asuka Sohryu Ikari (or whatever one wanted to call her nowadays) asked Shinji fiercely.

The man, not looking at his wife and instead focusing on his newspaper, chuckled lightly. "Yes, I'm ready. I still have some time before I have to go though."

"Hey, dad?" 14 year old Shinko piped up after finishing her breakfast, "After school, is it okay if I go hang out with my friends?"

Shinji nodded as he glanced at his daughter. "Sure. Just make sure you give Kozo his breakfast."

Complying, the young girl opened the fridge and took a package of tuna, before walking over to the pet penguin, Kozo. "Here you go, you!" She said, handing the young penguin the box.

"Wark." Kozo said graciously as he took the food, before proceeding to use his claws to open it and dig in.

"Okay, I'm off to school now! Bye, mom! Bye, dad!" Young Shinko exclaimed as she rushed out the door.

"You should get going too, y'know," Asuka said as she washed the dishes.

"I…agh, alrighty, dear," Shinji sighed as he put down the newspaper. Quickly hugging Asuka from behind and kissing her on the cheek, Shinji was on his way.

"Have fun at work!"

"As much fun as I can," he sighed.

Shinji Ikari walked out the door, not a care in the world.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah! Woo! Finally, I got this behemoth over with! Like I said, I don't know exactly what to say about this. Let's see...the thing about Shinji getting glasses is something of a reference to how in a few of the doujins I've read that take place after EoE, Shinji got glasses, so I decided to do that too. Anyway, like I've said a few times before, there's going to be one more chapter which will essentially be "another ending" to those who are dissatisfied with this ending. Well, until then, stay tuned or something.**


	9. The Neon Genesis

Innocent Trip  
Chapter 9: Other Ending - The Neon Genesis  
**DISCLAIMER: For the last time, I still don't own Evangelion. Now run along, people eager to sue me for whatever reason.  
A/N: We are at the end of the line. Like I've mentioned, this is a sort of "other ending" that I wrote as insurance, for a lack of better words. But we'll get to that later. So in the meantime, enjoy the final chapter. Place in canon is up to you if you care or something. As in, it doesn't have to be canon if you don't like this ending. You can just choose to ignore this and decide that Chapter 8 is your real ending. So yeah, as requested, warning to y'all, this **_**is**_** something of a downer ending, if not a bittersweet ending. To lighten the mood, I'd listen to whatever heartwarming song you'd have, like Debussy's Claire de Lune or I Was Lost Without You from the Mass Effect 3 soundtrack. Anythin' that fits your needs.**

* * *

_What are dreams?_

_Your dream is the continuation of reality._

* * *

Shinji Ikari woke up to reality. The waves of the LCL ocean splashing against his shoes. The clingy sand crushed underneath his body weight. He was lying on the beach. The red sky tortured him. Lilith's smiling face mocked him. A small sandcastle stood beside him. It was all a lie. All along, it had been a lie.

It was all some sort of twisted dream that was way too good to be believable, and yet, Shinji was stupid enough to accept it. He was not a confident chef in his late twenties. He was only a self-hating wreck of a fourteen year old boy. He was not peacefully living in Tokyo-3. He was living on a beach that had an ocean containing the souls of every human.

Realizing where he thought he was, and realizing where he is now, Shinji could already feel hot tears coming. He tried to hold them back, but to no avail. No, no, no! It wasn't supposed to be like this! His fists clenched tightly, but other than that, he couldn't seem to make a single movement. All he could do right now was be angry and cry.

It _couldn't _have been a lie. It couldn't! It all felt so real! The one time he had found happiness and it turned out to be nothing more than a damned dream! A stupid lie!

Shinji sat up, staring at the horizon. He felt so alone in this cruel world. Hugging his legs, he buried his face into his knees and sobbed quietly as he made sense out of all this. Maybe it was more than just a dream he had. Maybe…no…

Maybe it really was a dream _and _a lie. Flashes of Instrumentality. Perhaps even after it all ended, he was having hallucinations of a beautiful world where he believed he would've found happiness. But even so…Instrumentality was false happiness. That was why he rejected it.

And yet, it all felt so real!

Slowly but surely, Shinji stood on his feet, though his weak legs could barely support him. He was shaking, and rightfully so. His feelings were betrayed again. But who exactly betrayed him? There was no one around to point fingers at. Maybe Lilith? Father? Or maybe even himself?

Tears continued to run down his cheek as he stared at nothingness. This place. He hated it. He hated everything about it. The damned filthy sand. The stupid LCL that smelled like blood. The eerie face that used to belong to Rei Ayanami, or rather, Lilith, staring into his very being. The smile mocking him.

_Goddammit, _Shinji thought desperately, _Please, let me come back. Please, let this be another dream. Please, someone help me. Please, let it be that I'm with Asuka again. Please, let me be happy again._

But did he really want that? Did he really want to return to something like Instrumentality?

In his desperation, Shinji turned to the small sandcastle beside him. It reminded him of Instrumentality. God, he could even hear the voices again.

* * *

"_Hey, Shinji, c'mon!" A young girl piped up at the playground._

"_Let's build a sandcastle!" Another kid continued, to which the younger Shinji smiled and nodded._

_The swing swung without anyone riding it._

_Shinji was often alone, so he enjoyed the company that the girls gave him. It was fun playing with other kids. Building something. Watching something be created by your hands in front of your very eyes._

"_Look, Mom is here!" The first girl eventually yelped as she looked up, seeing a woman sitting on a chair, watching the children._

"_We gotta go now. Bye!" The second girl said, and before he knew it, Shinji was all alone again. They had left him. Abandoned him. Just like Father. Just like everyone else in his life._

"_Momma, momma!" They called eagerly, running to the mother. They walked off, the woman holding their hands._

_It must be nice having a mother, Shinji thought enviously. It must be nice having someone who loves you. Young Shinji found that he was almost crying again. Why couldn't he have someone to love? Why couldn't anyone care for him the way a mother did? Why didn't Father care for him? Why did he abandon him?_

_Attempting to proceed with building the sandcastle, Shinji patted the castle with his small hands, though his arms were so shaky and weak. He whimpered as he continued to build by himself._

_The swing swung without anyone riding it._

_Finally, little Shinji had finished building the castle. It was more like a pyramid, but it still looked nice, right? Shinji stared at the damned thing, wishing he could be proud of himself for doing something like this on his own._

_But he couldn't. He was abandoned again! He was left alone! Why, why, why?!_

_Shinji stomped his shoe against the castle._

_Why?!_

_Stomp, stomp, stomp._

_Please, someone be with me!_

_Stomp, stomp, stomp._

_I don't want to be alone!_

_Stomp, stomp, stomp._

_Someone…please…care for me…_

_The swing had stopped swinging._

_The castle, or rather pyramid, was utterly destroyed. Sniffling, Shinji stared at what he had destroyed. What he was now without. Now, he had nothing to show for the several minutes of loneliness. Dropping to his knees, the little boy attempted to rebuild the castle, occasionally wiping his tears._

_It was time to rebuild._

* * *

Stop. Stop it! Stop this! STOP IT ALL!

Goddammit, stop this!

It was happening again. Shinji didn't know where this sandcastle came from, but he had to get rid of it. It was reminding him too much of the moments that led to Instrumentality. Third Impact. It was reminding him too much of his ultimate failure as a human being, and of where it got him.

Like he did all those years ago on the lonely playground, Shinji stomped on the sandcastle until it was nothing. Sobbing quietly, Shinji stared at the destruction. This was childish. He was like a baby again.

Running away when things got hurtful. He was a coward.

_If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want anything from you!_

The words of Instrumentality were still echoing in his head.

Shinji dropped to his knees, his legs finally giving up. Looking down at the rubble, Shinji took a handful of sand and stared at the castle. Was he doomed to repeat things? Had he learned nothing? Had he really learned nothing? Had he learned nothing from saying goodbye to his Mother? Nothing from Instrumentality? Nothing from the dream?!

Shinji was about to contemplate rebuilding the sandcastle like he did when he was a small child. But then something stopped him. A footstep. And a menacing figure in red within peripheral vision.

Asuka towered over the kneeling Shinji, staring down at him coldly with her eye. She glanced at what remained of the castle, before focusing her attention back on Shinji. She didn't say anything. She didn't even have to. The boy could practically guess what she was thinking. A swirl of negativity.

_How disgusting, _the words rung in Shinji's ears.

Shinji looked up at Asuka briefly, before looking back down to the remains of the sandcastle. He probably looked stupid. Hell, he always seemed to be doing something stupid in front of Asuka. Tossing aside the handful of sand, Shinji grunted as he attempted to stand up again. This was one sandcastle that would not be rebuilt.

He had to face up, or else things would always the same.

"I never wanted this pain…" Shinji murmured, glancing quickly at the sand, "I never wanted his life. This suffering…"

"Well, that's too bad, Third Child…" Asuka replied venomously, "You shouldn't deal in what you want if you obviously can't get it, so stop complaining. You've made your choices. So live with them."

"I…I can't," he whimpered pathetically.

"You have to," the injured redhead responded coldly.

Shinji couldn't come up with a response. What _could _he say? That she didn't understand? Unlikely. She went through the things he did. Christ, she even _died _and Shinji had the gall to say that she didn't understand? She had suffered more than he had. Instrumentality showed him her past. Her mother's suicide, and how she decided to reject everyone around her, while putting on the belief that people needed to depend on _her_.

Turning around, Shinji hung his head low, clenching his fists again. "I…I'm…"

"What, you're sorry? Is that it?" She said softly, her voice cutting deeper than any loud yell could.

Shinji nodded. "Yeah, I am. But…that won't fix anything, will it? But that's all I can do. I can only apologize. After all, I…I can't do anything else right. I'm a screw-up. I'm the lowest…"

Asuka didn't say anything. She merely stared coldly at him.

The only sounds present were the waves of the LCL ocean.

"You know…" Asuka spoke up after the pause, "I had a dream. It was a nice dream where we had moved on from Third Impact…" She said, walking over to Shinji's side, looking at the horizon, "We were older. A lot older. Like, we were in our twenties or so. And…well, we had matured a great deal. We…we met each other and…it was nice."

Shinji's eyes widened as Asuka described her dream. Though she was a bit vague about it, it was just like _his _dream! But then, Shinji reminded himself not to get his hopes up. For all he knew, they…the dream really could have been just…

"Flashes of Instrumentality…" Shinji murmured, his voice barely audible, but still able to be heard by Asuka, who gave him a look.

"What did you say?"

"I…I had…it couldn't be a coincidence…" Shinji said, his voice getting somewhat louder, though he only continued to mystify Asuka.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" She shouted, looking at him irritably. Asuka _hated _Shinji when he was like this. Actually, she hated him _period_. So why…why was she still with him? Why couldn't she just leave? After all, she was better off alone. Right? That was how she had been all her life, so what was a little bit of more loneliness?

"I… I had the dream too. Except…to me, it all felt so real. I was…happy. It was nice to have believed I moved on and left everything behind. It was nice to have thought I put my demons to rest. But…then I woke up. I had to accept that that fantasy world was just a lie…" He said bitterly, clenching his fists even harder. It was all he could do to prevent him from doing something again. Like…choking Asuka. Hurting her. Betraying what little trust she still held for him.

"Sometimes, the only happiness we can find at the moment is believing what we want to believe, but eventually, we all have to face reality. It doesn't matter if we deserve happiness or not. It's something we all have to go through…" The redheaded girl simply sighed.

Shinji couldn't help but begin to cry again. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything."

Asuka didn't reply. She was busy being confused by Shinji's sudden shift in mood. Where was this coming from?

Shinji continued. "I'm sorry for rejecting you. I'm sorry for not being there. I'm sorry I can't give you everything. I'm sorry I betrayed you. I'm…" He choked back a few sobs, "I'm sorry for ever hurting you."

Asuka still said nothing. She simply sighed silently and looked at him. God, he was a mess. Then again, so was she. Eye-patch here, bandages there, and so forth. And on top of that, bloodshot eyes and a hell of a tired expression.

Then again, Shinji's eyes weren't any better. In fact, Asuka might even say he looks worse than she does in terms of mental health. He looked like he would go insane at any moment now, assuming he wasn't already out of his mind. Meanwhile, Asuka didn't know what to do as the boy she thought she knew sobbed his little eyes out. She couldn't hug him. She was afraid that if she even touched him, he might end up strangling her again.

The redhead had since forgotten about trivial things like "pride" and "arrogance" so she could focus on surviving this harsh world for now. Asuka sighed deeply, before betraying her better judgment by taking Shinji's hand and holding it gently. A soft touch. A caress. She didn't know what she was doing here, but then, she didn't exactly know what she was doing when she touched his cheek either.

She offered him comfort while debating with herself about whether or not he deserved it. As she did so, she continued to stare at the red sea.

LCL. Blood. Red. Neon.

Third Impact. Rebirth. Beginning. Genesis.

It was a red beginning. A neon genesis.

Shinji moved a bit towards Asuka, causing her to shift a bit in resistance, but when she saw that his hands weren't moving towards her neck, she stopped resisting, wondering what he planned to do now. He wrapped his arms around her, planting his head on her shoulder, and continued to cry. It was a sad image.

"I…I would have loved to forget the past, Asuka," he said in between whimpers and sobs, "I would have loved to just forget everything. To…to let go of everything. And move on. But I can't! I just can't forget everything that I've done!"

"Get over it!" Asuka suddenly snapped, "You can't undo everything so I suggest you man up and get over yourself!" She shouted harshly, grabbing Shinji by his shirt with her good arm through gritted teeth, the boy looking at her with utter fear, "You can't redo your days as a pilot! And as much as I'd like to do everything all over again, I can't. You have to live with your choices, do you understand?" She asked, her voice getting softer as her grip on Shinji loosened.

"Asuka…" He whispered.

"Don't pity me. I'd rather you pity yourself, but then, you can't afford to do that right now. You need to let go, do you understand me?"

Shinji slowly nodded, the familiar feeling of fear rising up within him, though the fear quickly disappeared when he realized something. Her voice was different. She wasn't yelling at him like she used to, calling him an idiot and accusing him of stealing her panties or something. She wasn't yelling at him to hurt him. Here, she was yelling at him about growing up because she wanted to help him. Because, dare he say, she cared. "I…I understand. Thank you."

Asuka simply nodded, letting go of Shinji, "Let's sit down," she sighed, before doing so. It wasn't long until Shinji joined her, the two of them sitting on the barren wasteland, "There's no use in wishing for something that may never happen, you know. As much as I…I wanted to stay in that dream…"

Shinji nodded in agreement, before reluctantly placing a hand on hers.

Asuka stared at the hand. She never wanted anyone's help. She believed she was invincible, that no one was above her. Asuka Langley Sohryu was the best pilot around! And yet, it was then that her pride and security was taken from her that she realized that she was running away. She was just like him, but she'd be damned before she'd accept that.

And yet, her damnation came first when the spears punctured her Unit-02. But she was here again. She was back. She had been resurrected by _him_ in some odd way, regardless of whether or not she'd accept it. While it was true that she was the one who technically brought herself back, Shinji was the one who allowed humanity to return by its own accord.

"Asuka," he spoke up, "Do you hate me?"

The former pilot blinked at the abruptness of the question. It had practically come from nowhere. She didn't know how to answer frankly. After all that had happened, could she bring herself to sincerely hate him? When she first met him, she only saw him as petty competition. A rival who can and will be beaten. As she got to know him better, her thoughts and judgment became clouded. Was he more than competition? Maybe. Asuka dared to consider him a friend, though she would always assure herself that she didn't need _anyone_. Maybe not even Kaji, wherever the hell he is now.

"It's okay," Shinji sighed, finding that he wasn't going to be answered, "I suppose it doesn't matter," he continued, his grip on Asuka's hand slightly tightening a bit, "I really did mean what I said when I said that I would have loved to move on. To be with you. I would have loved to stay in that fantasy world with a daughter and a pet, but I know now that if I were to stay, I would've been running away again…"

Asuka simply nodded. If she guessed correctly, she experienced the same things Shinji did in the dream. Everything.

From the night he bumped into her while he was walking in Germany to the day they had confessed their love to each other.

From the day Shinji had run away to the day Asuka had followed him home.

If the Asuka Langley Sohryu that existed within the dream admitted she loved Shinji, then was it the same for the Asuka Langley Sohryu that existed in this world as well?

Would she be able to bring herself to be with the idiot? If she could, why? What had he done to deserve love? If he wanted to be cared for, he'd have to earn the privilege! After all, people who work for their rewards will earn their rewards. They aren't just handed out freely!

"Dreams can never come true," Asuka spoke, "That's why there's a difference between the real world and the dream world."

"Even so…I still want to be with you. For real." He said sincerely, his hand still touching hers, "I won't run away again. I'll be with you for as long as you'll have me," he promised, daring to put out a small smile.

Her eye widened, remembering all the times he offered that smile to her. Whether it be when they'd just having a nice conversation while walking home on a normal day, or when he'd announce that dinner was ready. It was almost like his happiness depended on her happiness. But that was…that was preposterous!

Wasn't it?

Asuka looked at Shinji, still taking in what he said. "I…" Asuka closed her eye, attempting to snatch the confidence she once had. After all, in some twisted way, she was his strength. What kind of leader showed weakness? "I'm stuck with you for now, so I suppose I'll have to make do for now."

Shinji's smile never wavered. He squeezed her hand one last time, before letting go. "And I'll be here for you if you ever need something."

"We'll see." Asuka said as she stood up. Shinji got up as well, before looking back.

"I guess we should go now. No use in staying here. Come on, let's find some—" Shinji began, before being interrupted.

He stopped right when Asuka hugged him. It was a complete change in attitude that threw the boy off briefly. Shinji never could figure Asuka out, and maybe it'd be a while before he could. As Asuka hugged him tightly, Shinji decided not to make the same mistake twice when it came to Asuka being in such close contact to him and hugged her as well.

"Thanks," Asuka whispered, before letting go. As Shinji did the same and also let go, Asuka took his hand and began walking, though she seemed to be limping a bit too. "You're right. Let's go. We may not know what will lie ahead of us, but…it doesn't matter, I guess."

Shinji took it upon himself to play the role of "The Invincible Shinji" that Asuka would dub him mockingly one more time and helped Asuka walk, though according to her body language, she seemed to insist that she'd walk in front, "Yeah. Stay close to me," Shinji replied. It was an odd feeling. It was almost like for the moment, he really could forget everything. For the moment, it almost felt like he and Asuka were just bantering again for old time's sake.

"Whatever. Let's get a move on," She said, walking a bit faster now, her hand still tightly clutching his.

_Your dream is the continuation of reality._

Shinji stopped dead in his tracks, causing Asuka to also stop as well. What was that? Was that…Rei? It sounded like her. And did she…did she just say—

"Baka-Shinji! What'd you stop for? Come on!"

"S-Sorry," he said, before walking again.

While Asuka was muttering to herself about how much he apologized, Shinji went over the mysterious voice. _My dream is the continuation of reality? _Shinji thought, puzzled. What the hell did that mean?

It…it can't…Rei couldn't possibly mean the dream that Shinji and Asuka shared, could she? And yet, if that's not what she meant, what _did _she mean? As he continued walking, Shinji looked back one last time, facing the decomposing face that used to be Lilith.

The continuation of reality was the new beginning. Life after Third Impact. If his dream _was _indeed the continuation of reality, then…perhaps what he had seen in the dream could still come to fruition?

_Hmm, _Shinji mentally sighed, _It doesn't matter. I'll go wherever my life takes me. This is my life to live alone, after all._

Smiling to himself, Shinji glanced at Asuka, who he dared to call his beacon of hope, before straight ahead towards the road he walked. Perhaps it didn't matter if it turned out his dream _wasn't _a lie all this time, but rather, a foreshadowing of sorts. All that mattered was that right now, he was with Asuka. He couldn't exactly tell if she had forgiven him, but if she didn't, maybe he'd just have to work for that forgiveness.

The two children walked hand in hand, ready to face the struggles that the new world would give them together.

The kindred spirits wandered across the sand and into the unknown

THE END

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**A/N: Well, that's it! Anyway, to elaborate on what I mean by this being insurance, I wrote this chapter partly so I can feel better about myself, my writing "skillz," and this fic even though I know I'm not the first one to use this kind of "Haha, just kidding. It was all a vision" twist. I feel that one of the unwritten rules of writing Evangelion fanfiction is "Thou shalt insert a lot of angst in at least one chapter," so I put it all here.**

**I also felt that associating a happy ending with something Evangelion-related just sorta…out of place. So akin to EoE, I presented this bittersweet ending. I tried to balance out "bitter" and "sweet" equally as well. Anyway, that's all I have to say about this. Overall, I'd like to know what you, the reader, thought of this fic. Let me know in a review what I could have improved on or whatever else you want to say in a review.**


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